I really, really hate grades.

Okay, who does not? But I especially hate grades.

Recently, even the mere thought of grades has given me a headache. Whenever I am using LinkedIn and I see someone display their sky-high GPA, it makes me tear up a bit. When I see my friends’ Snapchats or pictures of their grades on social media, I wish I could be seeing the same perfect grades. With all the graduations recently, when someone talks about graduating with some high honors, I start praying that I will be able to graduate with the same.

I did not realize how much I hated grades until the end of this semester. Let us just say I was not satisfied with my grades this semester. It would be an understatement to say I was upset. I cried. Like deeply cried.

I was not exactly crying because of the grades themselves. I definitely did not want to get those grades, but I was more upset over the fact that I had worked so hard this semester. I did not necessarily think I deserved higher grades. However, I was upset that regardless of my work ethic, my grades seemed to hit an unbreakable ceiling.

It was not until this happened that I have developed such a hatred for grades. I probably would not feel the same way had I finished with straight A’s, but worrying over grades so much this past semester has made me realize how dumb they are. We literally invest so much effort. We are becoming fascinated through classes about topics we are interested in and pushing ourselves through classes we are not interested in (but have to take them anyway because of college requirements). We are up night after night after night. We are basically completely parenting ourselves, all while balancing school and friends and significant others. We deserve medals just for that. Instead, all we get in return for the semester is a grade. The week that I was waiting for grades to come out, I could not even relax because I was so worried about my grades. I feel like I deserved something more. What was a grade going to tell me —or an employer — about my hard work, my class participation, or my knowledge? Final grades do not even demonstrate what I did to get that grade, for heaven’s sake!

Can you tell that I am still upset about my grades? Yeah, I am. But, I have realized that my grades are not reflective of who I am. I feel like I learned so much this semester and got a lot out of my classes. I deeply enjoyed most of them. I have an awesome internship this summer where I will be moving toward a career path that I want to go into. Is that not what really matters? If I am trying my best and actually feeling like I have learned valuable information, who cares what letter my transcript on Sage flashes before my eyes?

You have heard it probably a thousand times, but I will say it again: You are not your GPA. Actually though. Think about it — is it not kind of dumb that we work our butts off only to receive a letter from A-F? All that goes into that grade are scores from assignments throughout the semester, which are necessarily graded fairly. Grades say nothing about your work ethic or your character. I am not saying to not aim for good grades, because there is certainly nothing wrong with getting good grades. Yet, try to not to be like me and cry over a bad grade or two for a whole week. You are so much more.