After my heartbreak, the biggest question was “God, how could you let this happen?” I was so confused why He wanted me to experience the pain and betrayal that I had felt after my boyfriend and I had broken up. I distanced myself from him, angry with the way he was planning my life. This was what I wanted more than anything, how could he tear that away from me?

It wasn’t until I was able to step back and realize the big picture of why God had taken this person out of my life that I became thankful for this heartbreak. When analyzing the moments of happiness with the moments of sadness and untrustworthiness, I realized I wasn’t in the relationship I thought I was.

I wanted to know more, I wanted to know exactly why God had let this happen to me, not once, but twice. I began reading the Bible Study Book Living Free by Beth Moore, and there I found the true answer of why God had taken that person out of my life and why he continues to take people out of all of our lives. If we think of our negative relationships have strongholds in our lives, in other words, things that are chaining us down to negativity, we can better understand his logic. When God demolishes that stronghold he doesn’t demolish it completely, he allows it to challenge us every day so that we learn to rely on Him every day for strength.

It seems a little confusing, but in the end, God created Ex’s so that we can be closer to Him. He created them to break our hearts so that He can mend them back together again. It is written that, “The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit” (Psalm 34:18). He wants us to recognize the temptation of constantly thinking about them, wanting to text them, and wishing the relationship went differently as opportunities for spiritual growth. He wants to be the shoulder we cry on and the friend we run to when the memories grow too painful at night. He wants to be the open arms we are looking for when we are in need of a warm embrace. God created Ex’s for our benefit, to gain strength through him as he equips us with the armor of his Spirit and Word.