Palms sweating, heart racing, you’ve just sent THE text to the boy that you’ve been day-dreaming about for months. Maybe the text is as simple as a “hey 😊” or as forward as “I’d love to get dinner sometime.” You feel like throwing your phone across the room, into a river or into the fireplace. You automatically wonder what you have just done and wish you could unsend it. Has he already seen it? I bet he is already showing all of his friends. I will never be able to face him again.

Relax – there are so many reasons why girls should make the first move more often.

1. Isn’t it better to just know?

Instead of waiting around hoping and wishing he will reach out to you, notice you or ask you out, isn’t it better to just know if he’s interested? If he is, you two can decide where to go from there and stop the guessing. If he isn’t interested, you can move on! You don’t have to waste another second hoping that he will go out with you.

2. It is not any easier for guys to make the first move.

Obviously I am not a guy, but I have asked enough dudes about this to know that sometimes they appreciate having the weight of constantly making the first move taken off their shoulders. Confessing feelings of attraction is difficult regardless of gender, and just because a guy isn’t walking right up to you and telling you that you look gorgeous, doesn’t mean that he is not interested! He might be shy or not know how to talk to you. If you’re interested, go after him.

3. Embody your confidence

There is something so gratifying about knowing that you don’t have to sit around and hope a guy will call. Your feelings matter just as much as his, and fear of rejection shouldn’t get in the way of going after what you want. Any decent guy won’t mock your feelings, tell everyone he knows, or avoid you for the rest of his life because you expressed interest in him.

I know that is it easier said than done, and there are people with legitimate reasons for not making the first move, but girls should just go for it more often. Why should a guy who has feelings make them more known than a girl who has feelings? If you catch feelings and are interested in pursuing a relationship, say something! It is not worth waiting and wishing and certainly not worth never knowing what could have happened. No one is saying you have to propose marriage by making the first move. It can be as subtle or forward as you’d like. I’m also not saying that there is a need to rush anything. It just makes logical sense that the first person to realize they have feelings should be the first to make them known, whenever they are read to do so, regardless of gender. You deserve the man or your dreams, and you deserve to know if the guy you are talking to has the potential to be that in your life or not. This is the 21st century – time to squash gender norms where they stand.