Lately, I’ve been seeing and hearing a lot about how important it is to have a boyfriend/significant other in your life. I’ve heard this same idea in different aspects of my life, ranging from the media to my family/friends. As someone who has been single for 20 years and three months, I’m so tired of hearing this. Believe it or not, you do not need a significant other in order to live a long and fulfilling life. So, I thought I would write about why it is possible to live a happy and meaningful life without a partner!

First, I thought I’d list the three most common statements and ideas that I’ve heard many different people say in terms of how important it is to be in a relationship:

“I would rather die than be single.”

“There’s no way I could live happily without a boyfriend (significant other).”

“Getting married should be a top priority for every woman out there.”

Starting with the first statement of, “I would rather die than be single,” there are many arguments one could make on why this statement is absolutely ridiculous. While many people consider it important to find somebody to be in a committed relationship with, I would strongly disagree that a person’s life is worthy of death if they have no partner to share it with. More than one hundred thousand people die each day; some die from a disease or illness, while others may pass from an unexpected accident. There are many more people who face death on a daily basis as they battle a deadly disease or illness. So, for someone to say that a nonexistent love life is not a life worth living is so disrespectful to those who fight every day just to live to see tomorrow. I’m pretty sure there is more than one person out there that is facing death that would willingly choose to live their life single if it meant that they could lead a long and healthy life with family and friends. Overall, I would warn against saying this statement around happy and successful single people or people with terminal illnesses.

Moving on to the second idea of, “There’s no way I could live happily without a boyfriend (significant other),” life actually can be greatly enjoyed with or without a partner. There are many accomplishments that a person can achieve without a significant other, including: voting for your first time, graduating high school/college, getting your first job, buying your first car, buying your first house, getting your first pet, and many more. Speaking from personal experience, I would say that my life is pretty great and I have managed to accomplish many goals without a boyfriend at my side. Some of my personal milestones include: graduating high school, getting accepted to a university, becoming a member of a Type 1 Diabetes awareness club, and becoming a staff writer for my school! So, while it may be nice to have a special someone there to share these milestones with, it is not absolutely necessary.

This idea that “getting married should be a top priority for every woman out there” is so absurd. I think out of all three statements, this last one makes me the angriest! I want to clarify that there’s nothing wrong with women aspiring to get married someday with the love of their life. It’s an idea that even young girls think about -- the idea of wearing a pretty white dress and getting their hair and makeup done. However, this shouldn’t be a main priority for women or men! I currently have three top priorities on my list of goals: become a registered nurse and work in a hospital, purchase my own home, and become a foster parent. While everyone’s list of priorities may be different, it’s important to realize that not everyone’s list will include the idea of marriage and there is nothing wrong with that! I’d be incredibly pissed if someone told me that I should only focus on getting married!

People claim that being married is important so that you have someone to put a roof over your head and pay the bills. Well, I hate to break it to people, but you sure as hell do not need a significant other to “take care of you!” The reason I am going to school and planning to go to nursing school is so that I can become a self-sufficient woman with a great job that covers any and all expenses I may have. While the idea of finding a special someone and marrying them sounds appealing, it is certainly not on my list of priorities. There’s nothing wrong with a woman who dreams of getting married and there is nothing wrong with a woman who does not want to get married. It’s all a matter of personal opinion and it is something that everyone should respect.

I know that many people may say that I probably have no idea what I’m talking about since I’ve never had a boyfriend or been in a relationship. However, I have had so many people come to me for relationship advice that it was at times overwhelming! At first, I wondered why on Earth they would want the opinion of a girl who has never even had her first kiss. But then I realized that they’re asking me because they want a new perspective on their situation! So, while I may have never been in love before, I certainly have witnessed plenty of fights and disagreements amongst couples to know when things aren’t going so well. I know the warning signs of domestic violence even though I myself have never been in a relationship, much less an abusive one. I know when someone is an alcoholic, even though I don’t drink. I know when someone has pneumonia, even though I have never had pneumonia. So, just because I have never personally been in a relationship with someone, does not mean that my advice/input is any less meaningful than someone who has been in a relationship.

To wrap things up, I hope my readers can take note of a couple of things. First, life has its ups and downs, and sometimes it seems that things are going either super great or absolutely terrible. It’s important to remember that whether you have a partner or not, you will get through any and all tough situations you may be going through. While some people may find strength and courage in their partner, others may find their strength in a friend or a parent. It’s incredibly important to surround yourself with loved ones so that they can help you during tough times and be a part of all the amazing times in your life. So, don’t think that without a significant other, you’ll have no one there for you, because someone else will always be there to hold your hand and tell you that everything will be OK.

Second, life can be pretty awesome and full of rewards, but if you spend all of your time focusing on frivolous things, such as debating whether your nails match your outfit or how you desperately need a boyfriend so that you have a date to a wedding, then you may miss out on some pretty special things in life. For instance, I’d be so heartbroken to look back on my life and see that I spent so much time searching for a boyfriend that I missed out on spending time with an old friend or a relative. So, be sure to take a deep breath from time to time and slow down a bit so that you have time to be more aware of your surroundings and what life has to offer!

And lastly, I hope people realize that I’m not just some bitter 20-year-old who is jealous of those who are in a relationship! I’m very happy for my friends and family who are in happy and committed relationships! I wish them nothing but love and happiness in their future. The reason I decided to write about this topic is because I’m constantly bombarded with messages from the media and society that state how being in a relationship is the biggest goal in life and how without marriage, a woman is not complete. Last time I checked, I am fully intact and complete without a boyfriend. I have definitely had my share of crushes and can provide proof in the form of long text conversations with close friends as I ask them for help on how to talk with a guy!

I know that if I am meant to have a special guy in my life to spend the rest of my life with, then I will surely meet him when it is the right time.