Feminism seems to be a big buzzword lately. Between presidential candidates making sexist remarks and accepting money from countries that stone, beat, and kill women- the word has found a lot of controversy as of late. In the public eye, feminism can be viewed as negative, but it's just the opposite. Women fought for their right to vote, and eventually won the battle August 20, 1920. This marked a big chapter in women's struggle for equality. As we creep ever closer to the election, there are some men who think the that women's suffrage was a mistake. It is in the hands of every man and woman to ensure equality among both sexes. Women are still not paid the same as men. It starts with us as individuals- you can be a feminist and not hate men. You can be a feminist who sees the double standards from both sexes. Equality and fairness do not always go hand in hand, but it is within all of our power to be the best person we can be.
As women and men, it is more important now than ever to make sure when something happens, it is reported. I speak from experience as I have been the victim of sexual assault. I was molested when I was 8. It took me years before I was able to tell anyone, and it was scary. It damaged me, but it made me realize that it can happen to anyone. Frankly, at 8, I did not fully understand what happened to me. I felt all these emotions, and sometimes to this day when I close my eyes, I still remember what happened. So the idea stands that it can happen to anyone. It was someone who I trusted. Because of the social stigma of being male, I was scared to tell anyone. I was afraid I'd be judged- and it is recently that I realized that I had not had the reaction from people I thought. Then it dawned on me that that was part of me being a male. When I tell people it’s hard for them to understand exactly what happened. It’s a shocking thing to tell someone, however, I know this is the only way we can keep this from happening, by taking action—when people don’t own up to what they’ve done, it is sometimes in our hands to make them. Evil prevails when good men, and women are silent. The absence of action is almost as bad as doing it yourself. There are so many solutions to the problem, but I’m here to tell you that what worked in my experience – was talking about it. And to the person who did this to me, if you’re reading this now, I forgive you. I didn’t want to, and I hope you never do this to anyone else, ever. In light of what I’ve said- to you, the victim who might be reading this, it’s not your fault. No one should blame you for what happened to you. You are a victim. Please don’t feel like you can’t talk to anyone about it because holding it in, it hurts, and it cuts like a knife and hurts more the longer you hold it all in.
When I was younger, I had no idea what feminism meant. My actions in the past were not always so women friendly. I see now the errors of my ways in the past as I've matured and become a man. You see, I was raised by my mother, and most of the family that has taken care of me has been women. I owe a great amount to women. Not every man shares my views. Not every man learns from his mistake. This is why, as millennials, it is so important now, more than ever, we vote. We make our voices heard. This is not just for us, our girlfriends, boyfriends, mothers, sisters or brothers. This is for our children. I am terrified with the current state of the justice system. Sexual assault is tolerated. "Locker room talk" isn't silenced. As men, we must not allow ourselves to fall below the standards that make us men. You see, being a man is not something that just comes with age, it is practiced. We must be good men. That is why I stand with feminism, because until there is justice for the victims of sexual assault, people will be afraid to report. People will just think, oh, he's an athlete, he'll be let off. It is complete and utter incompetence of our legal system that people like Brock Turner go free. When I see his name it makes me clench my fist. It makes me cringe. It makes me want to take the law into my own hands. Today, I decided to take it into my own hands. Starting with me, I will not allow people to make misogynistic comments in my presence. When you keep quiet, you're letting it happen. You're saying, "it's acceptable to talk like that."
When I have children, I don't want to be afraid that I have a daughter. I have seen cat calling, and the systematic perpetuation of rape culture is appalling but tolerated. I'm going to address the men reading this article: You cannot really be a man and not respect women. A woman brought you into this world. Here's an easy litmus test for whether what you're saying is sexist or not, if you have to ask that question, chances are, you're going to say something sexist. If you're still unsure: Is this something that you want someone saying to your daughter, your mother, sister? If not, then don't say it. Respect goes both ways. As I've become older, I've learned that respect goes a long way. Regardless of gender, sex, sexual preference, we are all still humans. We are part of the human race, and this is why it is on everyone to be a part of the fight for gender equality and end rape culture.
So, if you're going through sexual assault, it doesn't just end after the acts have been committed, for some, it replays over and over again. It did for me and still does. It's a part of who I am now. With that being said, I urge you, please take the time to report it, but take your time in doing it. Healing will be hard, but remember, you are not alone. If you or someone you know needs help, here is a good place to start. I will recommend therapy as well. It took me years of therapy until I was able to tell people about it. In fact, this is one of the first times I've ever been able to publicly admit or tell people on a scale like Odyssey. I share my experience with you all, so that maybe it can help even one person. It should not be any one person's burden. So, when people tell you that it's not worth the trouble, it is. Get help, because you are worth it.
