Love is a basic human need and it can be found in many different forms. The English language, unfortunately, uses only one word to describe the many forms of love that exist, whereas languages like Greek have several words which are able to communicate what kind of love is being shown in a particular situation and/or relationship. One way to fulfill this basic need is by seeking a companion to walk through life with through the covenant of marriage, which is a common grace that many people are able to enjoy. Marriage is often seen as a covenant between two people before God, but there's actually supposed to be a third party involved in every marriage. Marriage was designed to include the husband, the wife and the Lord, and when all three are included, the marriage will thrive.
Marriages lack a foundational piece that is vital to the health of the relationship when they lack the Lord’s involvement. We were created to know God and glorify Him in everything we do, including marriage. Married couples need the Lord to be involved in their marriage so they can live out their God-given roles and responsibilities as husband and wife in a godly way, so they raise their children to fear the Lord, so their marriage can be used to bless others and for countless other reasons. If one has a love relationship with God, they are then able to love a spouse in the right way. The love we have for God helps us to love our spouse the way God intended us to. A married person will be concerned about how they can honor God through pleasing their spouse (1 Cor. 7:33-34). The love one has for their spouse is expressed in a fuller and more authentic way because their love is rooted in the one true source (1 John 4:8).
The Lord should be at the head of every marriage if it is to be fully pleasing to Him. Marriage is a picture of Christ’s relationship with His bride, the Church, and He is the Head of the Church (Eph. 5:22-33). How can a marriage please God if it doesn't involve or include Him in any way, but especially placing Him as the ultimate leader of it? Jesus said, “I am the good shepherd” (John 10:11), and thus should lead us in every aspect of our lives. This includes God shepherding, guiding and caring for a marriage. Christians are supposed to anchor themselves in truth, and we receive truth from God because Jesus said, “I am the…truth” (John 14:6). Married couples can't know the truth about what their roles in marriage are if Jesus isn't a part of their marriage, showing them the truth.
I want to take the opportunity to mention that God knows everything, He is Lord of all and is sovereign over everything. He knows the ins and outs of every marriage and allows each marriage to take on the form that it does. In this sense, God is involved in every marriage, but not every marriage seeks the will of God. It's when, by the grace of God, a married couple builds their relationship on the Lord and submits to Him, placing Him at the head of their marriage, that God is involved in their marriage the way He designed. It takes humility and faith to let Him be the King of one’s marriage. When a married couple surrenders their marriage to God, they open the door for God to bless it.
Marriages operate the way God intended them to when He, in addition to the husband and wife, are involved and active in the marriage. Humans were created to honor and please God with everything we do (Col. 1:10), including marriage. A marriage is able to be blessed beyond the blessings of common grace when God is at the head of it. God is sovereign and His will always happens, but a married couple is only truly blessed by submitting to the Lord and seeking His will to be done in their marriage rather than their own. When a husband and wife love each other and love God the way they are meant to, the Lord’s glory is displayed for all to see.
