"Why don't you try being positive?"
Well, good idea! The thing is, if that worked, I probably wouldn't still have an anxiety problem. If the issue could be fixed as simple as thinking happy thoughts, there definitely would be far less issues. The thing is, it's not that easy. As much as I, or anyone suffering from an anxiety or depression disorder wishes, it really just can't be fixed like that.
Most of those who don't have an inside perspective of anxiety, see it as a mental state, which it is in a way, only it isn't one you are able to choose, or not choose. They see that your mind is making you think negatively, causing you fear or distress, or even sadness. Which is true, but they also believe that you can simply choose not to think that way. "Your brain is being negative, so just think positively." "Think happiness and you will feel happiness" That is where they are all wrong.
You're right. My brain is harvesting and festering negative thoughts, however, you couldn't be more wrong in thinking that it is a choice, or that it is something I can wish away in seconds. My brain wants to convince me that I am in present danger, or that there is some immense and deep-rooted reason to feel overwhelmingly sad, it makes the decision to think that way on its own, and it doesn't ask for my permission. In fact, it doesn't even let me know why. I have no control whatsoever on what I am thinking, let alone what my thoughts begin to make me feel. You become a prisoner within your own mind, and the only choice you have in the matter is to choose to let it control you until it passes, and that can take a lot of time. It can be the hardest time of your life, but then you're okay. Your brain is ready to let you back into control again.
There are about a hundred and one ways you can try to relax your anxieties, and make your hard days easier; some work and some don't. But, the thing I am most grateful for in the realm of healing or aiding my anxiety, is those who understand just how hard it is to try and be positive when my brain has taken over on its own. I appreciate those who genuinely try to fix my problems, by first starting with trying to understand what I am going through. The last thing someone who suffers from anxiety wants to hear is "hey, just try and be happy" when they are looking to you for help. The best thing to do for someone who is suffering is to ask them what they need. Most often, they won't be able to tell you, because they truly just don't know what it is that will help them. Try to put yourself in their shoes. Understanding anxiety is close to impossible honestly because those who go through it don't understand it themselves, but making the effort will mean more than the world to someone. Help them in ways other than telling them to "think happy thoughts". While thinking happy thoughts when you can is extremely beneficial for your state of mind, healing anxiety isn't as easy as just thinking positively.