I have a confession to make. Never in my life have I ever watched a full episode of "The Walking Dead," "Breaking Bad," "Mad Men," "Grey's Anatomy," "Gossip Girl," "Bones," "House," "Parks and Recreation," "Arrested Development," "Modern Family," "Fargo," "The Big Bang Theory," "How I Met Your Mother," "Friends," "House of Cards," "It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia," or any of the different versions of those Housewives shows, crime shows, or "Law and Order." Wow, what a long list. And that's just to name a few.
You know what else? A lot of you guys don't really watch these shows either. I know from first hand experience: I'll be in a room with friends who claim that the show we're watching is great, yet they're on their phone or their laptop or they're talking to other people. I hate to break the news to you, but that's not exactly watching a TV show!
We live in this bizarre culture where we just have to know the bare minimum of the plot points in a show so we can go tell everyone we watched the show. But you really only half-watch the show or watch just the most important 10 minutes of the show that really matter.
This is why movies are so great. You have 90 to 150 minutes to watch a story unfold in one sitting. Then it's done! The program is over! No binge-watching, just sequels that may or not be good.
So, why on Earth don't I watch these television shows? The nature of television shows is that they keep filming more and more episodes and seasons of the show to keep you hooked. It's an addiction. I choose to not be addicted to a screen that shows fictional characters and stories. You'll never hear me say, "Oh my god, the new season of 'American Horror Story' is on tonight! I HAVE to watch it!" Gross. Would it kill people to just not watch the show for one night? Can you miss one episode? Can television not be a religion?
Not to mention, TV shows simply don't have as high a budget as movies. With movies, the sets look better, the actors are better, the effects are better, the script is better. Everything is better.
I'm never going to get a Netflix account. Our generation is so cute. Instead of asking "Do you have Netflix?" the question is now "what show are you watching on Netflix?" It's assumed that I have to be watching some show on my tiny computer screen for hours a week. I will not conform to the confines of my couch and laptop when there are so many other productive things I could do to make my life easier. It reminds me of the days when people would ask me about which Harry Potter book I was on instead of if I like to read Harry Potter books. Knock it off with the assumptions. The only thing you need to assume about me is that I need oxygen to survive, not a Netflix account.
But you know what? The shows I actually do like to watch every now and then are shows people have either never seen or don't care for. You know what show I do like to watch? "Spongebob." And I don't mean the crappy new episodes. I also like 60s "Star Trek" episodes, "Top Chef," a competition cooking show, "Portlandia," a quirky, offbeat comedy show, and of course, "The Eric Andre Show," a crazy show that makes fun of television. That's about it. If I turn on the TV, I'm usually either watching football or a movie. I started giving up on television shows once I was in high school, really. The last show I watched religiously was "The Office" and I stopped after the fourth season.
If the whole Netflix binge-watching, television show worshipping lifestyle works for you, then I commend you. But it will continue to baffle me why we can't afford to stop watching a show. It just goes to show we truly are a generation that avoids single-tasking, being content and not asking for more, focusing, and as cliche as it sounds, living in the moment.
