When somebody close to you dies, what do you want? Comfort. Sympathy. Condolences. Respect.
Who do you expect it to come from? Friends. Family. Coworkers. People who knew the deceased.
Would you expect anything from someone you've just met beyond an "Oh, I'm so sorry" or a sympathetic pat on the shoulder? Of course not. Anything beyond that would feel out of place. Anything beyond that is supposed to come from the people you're closest with. Those close to you are the ones you'd expect to hug you and tell you it'll all be OK.
So then why do we expect the government to extend their way of respecting those closest to them — government officials and active duty service members — to those who are not? Why is it that when something tragic happens, we expect to see this symbol of respect that is supposed to be reserved for those directly affiliated with the government?
According to the United States Code, "The flag shall be flown at half-staff upon the death of principal figures of the United States Government and the Governor of a State, territory, or possession, as a mark of respect to their memory." It goes on to include the deaths of foreign officials, active armed forces members and former government officials. It does not go on to include the deaths of pop culture figures, civil rights activists or civilian victims of terrorist attacks.
Before I go on, let me make something abundantly clear: Death, no matter the cause, is sad. It tears through those in its path and upsets those it leaves in its wake. There are no words that could accurately describe how every person feels after the death of a loved one, but there is one thing that I'd argue everyone wants after death has claimed its victims: respect. Respect for those who are gone and respect for themselves as they cope with their absence.
Lowering the flag to half-staff is a widely known symbol of respect, but it was originally intended only for certain government people. There are other ways to show respect for those who don't fall into that category, ways that are just as valuable and just as reverent. Candlelit vigils. Memorial services. Peaceful protests to continue advocating for the change those who died fought for.
Choosing to lower the flag for any death that is considered momentous to our country places an unnecessary responsibility on the people of the United States. It forces us to consider every death and decide whether each person was important enough to have earned this respect, a respect that was not intended to be something that could be earned.
To be frank, it forces us to draw the line between who is important and who is not.
We are not an equal people. We can strive to be, but at the end of the day, we just aren't. But we are equally important. Every person is as equally important as the next regardless of what they do because God put every person on this earth for a specific purpose. Lowering the flag out of its proper context makes it a label of importance rather than a label of respect.
But maybe I'm wrong. Maybe the occasion for lowering the flag should be changed to include civilians who died in a terrorist attack or social advocates who died standing up for what they believe in. But if we choose to make this change, we must keep in mind that that changes the meaning. However subtly, that changes the meaning and the impact of lowering the flag to half-staff.
