One of my biggest aspirations in life is to become an amazing wife and mother one day. I think that that is one of the hardest, most rewarding jobs that someone can have. I truly do.
That being said, I don't need a man. I will never need a man. I don't have to depend on another human being for my own happiness. I am a strong woman, and I am independent. I'm not talking about feminism. I am talking about being your own person, and figuring out who you are as a person. That is what I am doing right now. I am exploring my own mind, and deciphering just what is going on up there.
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So, hear me when I say I will not ever chase a man. I did this once before. I was young, and in young love. I was silly, and I thought if I was just persistent that things would work. And they did, for a bit. My innocent heart was so happy, and then (because I forced something that should have come naturally) it was broken.
When I had it, I held love up high like a trophy, and in my mind I was happy because I was loved. I didn't understand, yet, that my happiness should not be based on another person's love for me. I should be able to be happy in or out of love; because I should love myself.
Today, I have picked up all the pieces of my heart, and we are working to find ourselves again. I love myself, I can honestly say that. I am in love with the strong woman that I am becoming each and every day.
Along with my belief that you should be your own person, and be able to be happy on your own, I also wholeheartedly believe that God makes someone for everyone. I believe that God has perfect timing, and I believe that what will be will just be. You will not have to force, trick, or coerce anyone into loving you - that is not love. I know what I want in life, and I know what I want in a husband one day.
I pray for my husband now. I pray that God helps shape him into the man that he needs to be for me. I pray that God makes me the woman I need to be. I pray for the day when I meet my husband. Not because I want to rush God's timing, but because I want to know without a doubt that this is the man God made for me. I pray that the devil does not send impostors to stray me from the path God has set for me and my future husband. I pray that God keeps my head clear, and that I stay where I need to be.
So, no I will not ever chase a man. God's timing is perfect. When it is time, I will fall into love. I will not have to run after it. If you have to run after something, it isn't yours. You should never have to beg someone to care about you, much less love you. I am me, and somewhere in this world is my future husband. I am so excited for the day I say "I do." But I am even more excited at the thought of my future husband and I being molded and led into the people we need for each other. So, I will live my life, content with myself. But I will also be patiently waiting and praying for him.
