Why Dogs Are Better Than Cats | The Odyssey Online
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Why Dogs Are Better Than Cats

I'm here to settle this "debate" once and for all.

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Why Dogs Are Better Than Cats

Why is this even an argument? Cats are horrible. They hate everything and pee all over the place. Cats vs. dogs shouldn't even be a thing. Dogs are definitely superior. I look at a dog and instantly feel happy. Meanwhile, when I look at a cat I want to shrivel up into a ball and roll to the closest available dog and hug it. There is a reason why colleges have puppy days and not cat days. When I walk to class in the morning, I always see a lady walking her Golden Retriever and it makes me realize that not all is bad in the world, because well, we have dogs. Anyway, here's why dogs are clearly better than cats:

Cats don't play fetch.

Throw a ball or stick near a cat and it'll just hiss at it and then look at you like you're some piece of trash. Now throw a ball or stick to a dog and man, even if the dog doesn't mean it, they'll treat you like the second coming of Christ.

Dogs actually have personalities.

Seriously, this isn't a joke. Think about all of the dogs that you know. You can remember certain things that they always do and how they act around certain things and people. Now think about all of the cats that you know (hopefully none). All that comes to mind is either some awful memories of that cat trying to kill you or the fact that it's just a cat and there's nothing else to think about.

Cats are evil.

It's an actual proven fact; there was a study done on this, I swear.

Dogs like kids.

There's nothing better or cuter than dogs with babies (don't argue this you're wrong). Dogs understand that they need to be gentle with little kids because they just get it. I've also never seen a video titled "Dog Pisses Off Baby." The titles are always "Dog Plays With Cute Baby" or "Dog and Baby Sleeping" or "Dog Saves Baby's Life" or "Dog Raises Baby On Its Own Despite Being Laid Off and Divorced."


Dogs are man's best friend.

It's an article about dogs being great so don't give me the cliche attitude. Dogs really are a man's best friend and there's proof.

If you could somehow even get a cat to do this, they would probably shake up the beer before giving it to you.

"Air Bud"

Tell me the last time that you saw a movie about a cat dominating multiple sports...oh, never? I rest my case.

Dogs save lives.

If you're drowning, do you want a cat standing on the shore or a dog? Even if the dog can't swim it'll go find some help because remember, dogs are smart and a man's best friend. But dogs can swim, and cats might be able to as well, but they choose not to. Not just because they choose not to, but it's actually because they suck.


You can play with dogs without fearing for your life.

Play with a cat and you're asking to get scratched and cut up, and maybe lose an eye. Play with a dog and unless you're allergic to slobber, you'll be good. Dogs are so much fun!

Dogs get girls, cats do not.

Walk around at a party with a puppy and you'll be the most wanted man there, even if it's not for your looks. Walk around holding a cat (good luck picking the thing up for more than five seconds) and you'll probably get holes scratched into your party clothes, you'll smell like urine, and the ladies will not be impressed. It's like cats hate fun and when they try to have fun they just hurt people, break things, and ruin everything while dogs are the life of the party.

Snow dogs.

No, not the movie you idiot. People actually use dogs to SURVIVE. I don't see any cats pulling people from place to place, or even just playing in the snow with people.

Cuba Gooding Jr. does look really happy though:


I have nothing left to say. I think the above factual evidence is enough in itself and is proof that once and for all, we can say the cats are the absolute WORST, and dogs are the G.O.A.T. (greatest of all time, not the animal because that wouldn't make sense because they're dogs and not goats...unless you're this little guy):

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