This upcoming Saturday, November 18^th, is National Survivors of Suicide Day. While we can all agree that survivors of suicide should be recognized and commended, it is obviously difficult to determine how we should recognize and commend them.

Throwing a party because someone has resisted the desire to end their own life, for example, seems absolutely absurd and inappropriate. But I believe that before we determine how to “celebrate” (for lack of a better word) National Survivors of Suicide Day, we have to first acknowledge the prevalence of suicide in our society.

In order to make sure we’re on the same page, let me fire off some statistics regarding suicide. Currently, suicide is the 10^th leading cause of death in the United States. It claims the lives of 121 Americans each day, and 44,193 Americans each year. For every suicide, there are 25 suicide attempts. And when it comes to demographics, men are three and a half times more likely to commit suicide than women, and seven out of ten suicide victims in 2015 were white men (particularly middle-aged white men).

Before I get any further, I want to address the fact that white men seem to be particularly susceptible committing suicide. Even though I happen to be a white man who has struggled with suicide, I want to stress that suicide is an issue not exclusive to any particular demographic. Is it strange that the most privileged demographic accounts for a large number of suicide victims? Sure, but I can only speculate on why that’s the case (personally, I blame toxic masculinity).

Regardless of the number or demographics of people who struggle with suicide, it’s still considered taboo. And although suicide is no longer considered a crime in most countries, it is a subject of conversation that is often avoided at all costs.

Now I’m not suggesting that commuters should be forced to discuss how they fought the urge to step in front of their respective trains and buses. But when suicide is currently brought up in conversations, the typical responses are condescending at best. Those struggling with suicide are often told that they have a lot to live for, or that things will get better.

To be fair, both of these responses have merit. There is something absurd about me, a white American man, wanting to kill myself when there are millions of people who would kill others just to have my privilege, opportunities, education, and resources.
But to tell someone struggling with suicide that they have a lot to live for seems to assume that they are unable to properly evaluate their life. And while it’s true things can get better for them, simply telling them this seems to disregard the challenges they will face before things get better.

The worst response to the topic of suicide, however, is no response at all. When I first began struggling with suicide, I was convinced that I wouldn’t get past the age of 20. And if it wasn’t for the love and support of my family and friends, I probably would have been correct. Most of them didn’t actually know I was struggling with suicide (and probably won’t unless they read this article), but their love and support nevertheless made a difference. So if you take one thing away from this article, let it be that continuously treating someone with kindness and respect can make more of a difference than you know.