I’ve heard the word vegan more times in the past year than I have in my life. It’s not just a special diet for religious extremists—it’s a lifestyle. The vegan movement has actually been quite powerful. It’s changed my perspective on the morality of my every day habits. When people mention veganism, I really think about it, instead of laughing out loud. The motives behind the movement—healthier population, reduced emissions and less innocent animal slaughter—make sense. But what about the people who advocate for this?

Vegans have every right to speak their minds about what they believe in. Preachy vegans aren’t a problem; everyone has the right to talk about things that they are passionate about. The problem is with vegans who believe they are morally superior to the general population because they chose a certain lifestyle that benefits them more than anyone else. Some people aren’t vegan because it’s not in their culture, or they don’t have the resources. Being an omnivore shouldn’t be viewed as a moral failure, but rather a result of one’s environment and upbringing.

Prominent vegans on YouTube make videos with one common message: I’m a vegan, so I’m better than you. At the forefront of this movement is Freelee the Banana Girl, an avid vegan who was hooked after it caused her transformative weight loss. The channel is dedicated to videos of her bullying other YouTubers for being different than her. She’ll say things like “here’s a vegan’s body, and here’s a meat eater’s body. See the difference?” She’ll make parody videos of non-vegans, mocking their personality and appearance in the way conniving 12-year-olds do. She argues that the ends justify the means, but in reality, the means deter the ends from ever becoming viable.

A kind meat-eater is “better” than a cranky vegan on any given day. People are generally stubborn; they won’t change the way they’ve been doing things their whole life, and especially not in the face of belittling. Veganism can actually gain traction with the influence of calm vegans who inform people of the facts and encourage and guide people into a new lifestyle, not by people who impose it on others as the end-all-be-all way to be a “good person.” A lot of people aren’t making the switch because it would give people like Freelee the Banana Girl a personal victory. Despite the praise she receives for “keepin’ it real,” her commentary is too extremist to appeal to the wide audience she needs to advance the movement, and it’s too derogatory to be persuasive to a dignified person. Overall, it creates a stereotype that gives all vegans a bad reputation, which is a step back for every two steps forward the movement makes.

I’m aware that not all vegans care about what other people eat, even though a lot of them do. Many more people need to convert to veganism for a substantial reduction in carbon emissions to actually be achieved, so it makes sense that their particular lifestyle choice comes up in the conversations they have. But instead of portraying veganism as a step onto a moral high ground, they should see it as a personal choice that people make based on a number of external factors. It’s a step one should take to further everyone, not just themselves. Make veganism less about hate, and more about tolerance.