Ever since I was young, I have had to force myself out of my comfort level in order to maintain a social life. After enjoying a night out, my friends soon noticed it would be a while until they saw me again. I have always shamed myself for not having the energy nor the interest to go out every weekend and socialize. Though it should not be mistaken that I am antisocial. I love to get out every once in awhile to see old friends, go to dinner, catch a movie or hangout at someone's house. Though I like to believe that I don't care what people think of me, I think it's only necessary to help others understand that I am only coming from a good place.
1. I Am An Introvert
An annoying definition of the word "introvert" states that it describes a shy, reticent person. For introverts like myself, it is important to understand that needing some time for myself does not make me shy; it makes me human. It means I must give myself the opportunity to “recharge” and reflect before working up the energy do it all again. Because the majority of the population is made up of extroverts, they might not know that us quiet ones are actually screaming on the inside. Sometimes I would just rather direct concentration on myself, than others.
2. I Love Too Hard
I envy the friends of mine who live in apartments with a group of their BFFs or hang out with the same person day after day, because I simply cannot. The truth is, I fall hard for everyone I meet whether it's a lover, friend, co-worker or classmate. Because I intend on keeping them around, I often let myself believe that they will appreciate me more if I was not around so much. In my opinion, distance makes the heart grow fonder.
3. I Am Proud Of My Independence
Even though I probably look pretty lonely at times, I'm really not. Sometimes I actually prefer to do things on my own. I enjoy knowing that I don't need to wait on anyone to shop with, drive with or go to the bathroom with without feeling like a total loner. I eat by myself for lunch and I enjoy the morning drive to school in solitude because I enjoy my own music. I also enjoy the avoidance of judgment in being by myself. Most of all, I love figuring things out on my own because it gives me a sense of accomplishment. Unlike many others, I don't need to be praised by anyone else for anything I do because I compete against myself; rather than others.
4. I'm Busy
Sometimes it really is as simple as that. As a young, full-time college student with two jobs and a wedding to plan, I forget that I have a life with people in it who are waiting to see me. As of lately, I've been busy adulting (or at least trying to) because my education and future come before a night spent out. When I actually do attempt to go out and enjoy myself, I tend to constantly stress over everything hanging over my head that I should actually be doing instead. For me, It's all about work now, play later!
Despite misconceptions about people who distance themselves from others, we are not boring. We are introverted, loving, independent and busy individuals who are misunderstood all too often.
