In life, difficult conversations will always be plentiful. As we grow and change and mature, situations will present that will challenge us and make us uneasy. But in those situations, there is always an opportunity to grow. In my youth, having difficult conversations was terrifying, to say the least. But as I have grown a little older and wiser, I actually look forward to having difficult conversations and this is the reason why?
No, I don't love drama
And that's why difficult conversations are a must. Some people think that having a difficult conversation head on will create more drama and make things more difficult, but I feel quite the opposite. Usually, whether professionally or personally, when there is tension or misunderstanding and/or breached boundaries, this will foster drama. Especially if it is a work situation when you are working with or around someone all the time. Or personally, when they are family by blood or marriage.
When you are inserted into a new situation, for example you land a new job, no matter the size of the company, there is usually a pecking order. When you join you are the "new kid on the block" and until the pecking order settles, it's likely that people will challenge you. This is true of new or recently formed familial bounds; when you cannot avoid the person, then difficult situations are a must and here are 3 tips to help you do just that:
Start with the end goal in mind
Shoot to Score
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Before you begin your conversation, think about your goal. If your goal is to tell the other person off, it just won't work. Plain and simple. But if your goal is to foster a more positive relationship and environment then tailor your language to foster that.
Don't play the blame game
Point Finger
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Tailoring your language means no blaming and no finger pointing. Instead, try to communicating form a balanced view and frame things in a way in which the recipient can truly listen and hear what you are trying to say
Make sure you listen too
Listen, listen, listen
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That means, listening goes both ways. Before you speak listen and think through what is being communicated back to you. Do your best not to take offense. And start as you mean to go on with the end goal in mind.
Difficult conversations are never easy. In fact, no one ever wants to have a difficult conversation. But in order to resolve conflict, they are a must. An absolute must. They enable you to erect barriers and put boundaries in place that foster a more positive environment in the long run. So while they are uncomfortable in the short run, they foster more positive environment. The more you practice, the better you will get at it until one day conflict altogether will become a thing of the past, because you've learned to address things early on and have the necessary boundaries to avoid misunderstandings.
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