Recently, I was re-introduced to Dierks Bentley's newest hit "Different For Girls", which illustrates the aftermath of a break up for a guy and a girl. The guy heads out to a bar with his buddies and drowns his sorrows away in a whiskey and Coke, finds a new girl, sleeps with her, and just keeps on spinning around in that cycle. The girl, on the other hand, isolates herself and confronts her emotions and emotionally grows. That is all well and good, but it basically tells us that guys are emotionally inept and that girls cannot afford to be immature and hook up with some guy.
Don't get me wrong, it is a good song and the imagery is thought provoking. The emotion in the singers voices gets to you, and it really is emotionally stimulating, But, when I get told that this is how I should react to a situation, that bothers me.
Now, I cannot speak for the girls, but it seems to me in times of emotional tribulation everyone can be immature and go out and drown their sorrows in a bottle. And I'm sure if they run into someone at the bar that they find attractive, then they'll get lucky and maybe that helps with the break up process, maybe it does not. But to say that girls are far too mature to go out with their friends and meet some guy is just ridiculous. But, Bentley does mention that the women have a pressure and can't afford to go out, and I found that to be an interesting take. To say that girls have an added pressure is important- the effects of alcohol on the body can add a lot of weight and the idea and pressure that women need to have a slim figure... well combine those two ideas together and you have a lot of unwarranted pressure on young, heartbroken women.
Now, for the gentlemen in the audience, does it seem like we are always stereotyped as people that hit the bottle after our hearts get broke? Don't we, as human beings, get the opportunity to be described as emotional beings, and not the drunken misogynistic abusers that all sorts of media likes to depict us to be? I know for a fact, after a few break ups, that I do not need a bottle to cope with a little heartbreak. I, along with humanity in general, just need time to understand the situation and pull myself together. Now, does that make me effeminate in some way? No, I think it makes me a human being. Some people need the bottle, some people may need a hook up, some people may need some isolation, but everyone needs time to heal.
When the song came out, I fell in love with it. I did not mind it talking about the stereotypes for each sex- Hell, it's a song, I try to not read into it too much. But, after hearing it and comparing Dierks' opinion on male version of a break up versus my living it, I found myself bothered by his message. The song is great, give it a listen and decide for yourself.
