When I was getting ready to go off to college, partying was so far down on my list of concerns that I’m not even sure it made the list at all. I was way more worried about things like whether or not my roommate and I would get along, or how much homework my professors were going to give me, or whether or not I would even be able to handle being so far away from home for the first time. College felt like a big deal to me, and I wanted to get more comfortable with my new surroundings. Also, to be honest, I felt so displaced and homesick at first that the last thing I wanted to do was leave the safety of my room to go mingle with strangers.

But even after I got through the first month or so, I still didn’t want to go out. It wasn’t that I never got invited anywhere, because I definitely did. I put a lot of effort into my excuses at first: “I have a big test on Tuesday and I’m not doing too well in the class. I think I’m just going to focus on studying.” After that I tried a different approach: “I’m just too anxious to deal with crowds of people I don’t know.” Then I just started saying “No.” Being honest worked much better than trying to justify my decision, and so I no longer felt the need to explain myself.

Although I didn’t regret my choices to stay in by myself, I started to feel like I was missing out on the stereotypical “college experience,” and this actually got me pretty discouraged. What was I doing here, miles away from home, if I wasn't always trying to make the most out of every day? Then it hit me one day that not everyone’s college experience is the same, and even though I didn’t go crazy every weekend, I had still managed to get out of the small town where I grew up, and I was meeting people and trying plenty of new things. I wanted to spend my time catching up on homework and staying somewhat relaxed because first and foremost, I was at college to learn. Besides, I was still making friends through my classes and clubs, so it wasn’t as though I was completely isolated.

I’m not going to say that all the weekends I spent staying sober were more productive, because some of them definitely weren’t. In fact, I spent a lot of them sitting on my bed, eating popcorn and watching Netflix. I will say, however, that I feel very responsible and proud for excelling inside and outside of the classroom. There are plenty of college students who can handle classes, homework, clubs, jobs, and going out, but it's ultimately the responsibility of each person to know themselves and how much they can take. Taking time for myself was what worked best for me, and in my opinion it was the best way to make my freshmen year less complicated and more bearable.