I am extremely introverted, lacking clear confidence in any way: this is why it was totally out of character for me to take my bikini top off at the beach. One of the girls I was at the beach with declared that we should all take "one of those" pictures where a few girls line up with their backs facing the camera and throw their arms in the air with their bathing suit tops dangling from one finger. At first I just laughed and thought about how my friend was crazy for wanting to do such a thing. Yet, I ended up making the decision to join her. And this was based off of the impulse-driven ideal that if I ask myself why I shouldn’t do something and I can’t come up with a good excuse, I should definitely do it.

This began with wondering why I had to think twice about taking the picture. There were ten of us on the beach that day and only three were willing to join in, eventually myself included. Why was it such a big deal? My only answer is that actions (or the hesitation to act) are too often based off of the anticipated reaction of society.

I could have easily been concerned with what people would think of me, several adults and children were on the beach within observable distance. I made the decision that I don’t want to let that stop me; it’s not a good excuse. Whatever people at the beach that day would have to say about me would have been derived from judgment and those people do not matter to me anyhow. I thought about how I would probably never see those people again and that no one's life will be altered from my decision to take a picture. A couple pairs of nipples hanging out in the open certainly won’t do any harm.

The decision to take my top off at the beach is not the main point, though. It is one small representation that we can do what we want. I am young, and in the 30 seconds I had to decide if I was going to be a part of the picture, I could not come up with a valid reason not to. Part of growing to love ourselves begins with not being afraid: not being afraid of rejection, not being afraid of social norms and not being afraid of ourselves. How can you truly love yourself and the life you’re living if you’re constantly living in fear? Living that way accomplishes nothing because, honestly, there is always someone who is going to judge what you do. With that said, you should respond to your heart's first impulse without any strong regard to how people may perceive you (within reason, of course).

Maybe a few people saw my nipples that day; that’s perfectly fine. Most importantly, I learned a valuable lesson. Reactions based on true intuition, desire and spontaneity will have an incredible influence on my life and my success. I consider those that refuse to restrain themselves to be both intellectually and professionally advantaged, so I’m making the conscious decision to be one of those people. After I put my bikini top back on, I felt so good about myself. I had just recognized my fear of being judged and did what I intended to in spite of my fear. This is a mindset that I sincerely hope I can carry throughout the rest of my life, whether it’s publishing something controversial or making a decision that I may receive backlash for — this my life and I’m going to do my best to live it creatively and fearlessly.