Society is growing and expanding, progress superseding tradition. However, I would argue that, although strides have been made, some aspects of society are still tied to tradition. We do certain things just because "that is how it has always been done." I am not in favor of progress for the sake of progress, but I am also against tradition for the same reasons. Stick with me, I promise I'm going somewhere with this.
In 2015, I fell in love. Not just any sort of love, but the kind of love that makes you want to get up in the morning if just to see that person. Fast forward to early 2016. Still happy. Still crazy about him. Marriage was something we had talked about, in that distant, unobtainable place called "the future." I would lay awake at night, fantasizing about all the different ways he could propose to me, each one more sappy and improbable than the last. But then I would think to myself, "Why do I have to wait for him to propose? Who said it has to be that way?" So I got to planning.
Around Easter, I created a scavenger hunt using plastic eggs. I wrote out clues describing all the places we loved, making him lead me around the town until we came to a beautiful park. I took him to a bridge and proposed then and there. When we announced our engagement, most of our friends and family were happy for us. Some, however, were not.
When I would tell the story of how I popped the question, people would say, "Oh, but that is the man's job. It doesn't work the other way around." To that, I say "Why not?" Where is the law that women can't propose to men? Is it just because I'm the "fairer sex" that I don't know what I want? That I should only concern myself with dishes and homemade casseroles and let the men decide when it's appropriate to talk marriage?
Another question I got asked a lot was, "Oh so you're engaged? Where's the ring?" As if a little bitty piece of jewelry on my finger deemed what my relationship status was. As if the love we had for one another and our promise to marry each other was invalid because he "didn't put a ring on it." As a couple, we decided that engagement rings were a superfluous cost that, in the long run, meant absolutely nothing.
And this brings me to my last point; being pregnant. Numerous people asked us if we were getting married because I was pregnant. As if having a child out of wedlock was the single worst thing that could happen to a girl. As if the only thing holding us together as a couple was the possibility of being parents. It didn't occur to these people that, regardless if I had a bun in the oven, we would actually be marrying for love.
Through getting married, I have discovered that there are many people out there who still have traditional ideologies when it comes to marriage. And that is 100 percent fine. But if you don't like my engagement story or the reasons I got married, make your own story that fits your liking and don't critisize mine.
