There’s a common saying that has been circulating around Facebook and Twitter for as long as I can remember having a social media account.
And that’s the notion that you’re wasting your time dating someone, if you don’t have the intentions of marrying them. And to that, I say, bullshit.
In all honesty, if we think back to our first boyfriends and try to wrap that theory into that experience, how many of us would be in miserable and toxic marriages?
To me, dating is a time to find yourself, spend enjoyable moments with someone you consider a best friend, and engage in a positive experience that’ll shape your life (either badly or well, depending if it ends or not).
I think it’s incredibly wasteful to get into a relationship with the intentions of marrying that person in the end. If you want to do that, good for you! Sometimes things can turn out that way and marriage is a happy fact of finding your true soul mate.
But, if you’re like most people (myself included), you have your share of running the mill, and finding what you do and don’t like in a relationship. There are phases everyone has in their life, and sometimes you want different things.
If my parents ended up with the people they dated in their teen years, I wouldn’t have even been a concept. Both my parents might not have even gotten out of Hungary and started a splendid life in America.
It’s okay to just date, to DATE. Just to enjoy your youth with another person. Explore your companionship with someone emotionally, spiritually, and sexually!
What’s better about dating just to date, is that if you do find the person you want to spend the rest of your life with-- you’ll already have a crafted set up of sexual experience, maturity in how to handle argumentative engagements, and when it’s time to meet the family, you’ll already have had your fair share of first time jitters, and know how to hit it off with the parents.
And there’s also this notion that some people don't want to get married. And that’s so cool, too. Like, that's fucking fine. Your whole life and whole worth should not be based on some archaic and arbitrary official binding that’ll most likely end in divorce (as of 2015 and according to Google, the divorce rate is 50 percent).
You are allowed to spend your day leisurely exploring the world and finding new discoveries not only around your environments, but with yourself as well. And if that includes a partner and backpack buddy while you trek the toils of your mind and roads of society, there’s never a required pressure to shack up and attach a label onto something that may just be a casual affair — that may or may not last forever.
There should be more focus on the chemistry and communication of the individuals, rather than an end result that somehow society has attached to having achieved a successful milestone in your life. I’m sure life would be more fulfilling if people didn’t focus so much on the outcome, but instead looked and lived in the now and what lays a few steps ahead, rather than a few years.
