Dating. What is it all about? Surely its sole purpose is to help others find that special person they will spend the rest of their waking lives with.
You know, the perfect person who you’re compatible with? The person that shares the same views on politics, religion, and will dote on you every second of every day? The person that wants to have children and get married someday?
Hopefully, the partial sarcasm shines through.
Finding someone to date is so awkward in the 21st century. More specifically, in 2016.
Here are a few reasons why:
1. Meeting people is hard.
Websites and apps for dating are the norm, while meeting someone organically, like at a Whole Foods, is such a weird thing to happen.
In random encounters, some women get aggressive when being approached by men, who attempt to compliment them, but some men also approach women aggressively and when they get rejected? They are so butt hurt by it.
An example stems from the man who called me a “bitch” when I rejected his advances. Like, okay, random guy at the mall who decided it was perfectly fine to follow me and get my attention by yelling at me. It’s guys like this who make it creepy, and in turn, make dating apps more acceptable because a person can just unmatch them immediately.
2. Internet dating still has it's downfalls.
Okay so maybe it's not entirely awful to meet someone this way, but we become so much more superficial when we judge based only on looks. People simply become disposable when we are constantly looking at hundreds of profiles in just a week.
It also has been a gateway to infidelity with sites like AshleyMadison.com or finding others for a one night stand from Tinder.
Oh and when you don't have any matches, it might cause you to feel insecure, but don't.
3. Lack of effort from everyone.
With hook up culture being the norm, it's as if people can get those sexual needs filled so easily, so they end up not wanting to put effort into a substantial relationship.
How unfortunate that in the past, guys and gals worked hard to impress and please the other until finally having sex as a special thing! Now the attitude is that sex is easy to get, so there isn't a need to make someone fall in love before giving into those lustful desires.
Who needs one person to invest time in and possibly have your sexual needs met whenever you both want when you can constantly be looking for a hook up?
*Sarcasm.
4. No feelings, please.
On top of the lack of effort, people realize they do not want to put their hearts out there, just in case they get hurt. This is when you actually end up hurting the other person, who probably likes you just as you like them, but you had to play the game of keeping it cool.
Don’t show your interest right away. They’ll think you’re too into them—even if you are. The person who “catches feelings” first is the weakest link.
Don’t put so much effort into spending time together. Let the other person do all the work. That way, they can show you how much they like you first.
Don’t even mention feelings. Or let the other person know you’re even dating. You’re “hanging out.” The term “dating” means there’s probably feelings there, and that’s bad.
Are these actual rules for dating? Because it seems to be what many people follow when it comes down to it.
5. Communication rules are ridiculous.
Speaking of rules. There's a rule when it comes to texting and communication as well, right? You know the one, don't text back right away. Let them think you have other things to do than just wait for their text message, even if you're just looking at Snapchat or Instagram.
It becomes a game, it seems. Receive a text, respond two hours later. Then get a response three hours later. Don't even bother posting anything online so they don't think you're avoiding a response, you're just busy. In reality, you're both just waiting for the response, but don't want to seem too eager.
Imagine if everyone just responded the way they wanted to instead of playing this game, actual conversations could happen.
6. Chivalry is dead.
Opening doors, walking someone to their front door, bringing flowers. Those are all outdated acts, right? Wrong!
Going back to lack of effort, it's as if these acts are so difficult to do. Perhaps men think that if they do these things for women, the women won't appreciate it and expect it all the time. They should appreciate it, and should very well have these acts happen to them. Maybe not flowers every day. That gets expensive.
Well women, chivalry also means to be kind and courteous, and that's something you can do as well. If it is expected of a man to be chivalrous, you sure as hell should do sweet things for them as well.
However, some people see chivalry as backwards thinking. It really isn't, and it's not difficult to do.
7. Ghosting is real.
What is ghosting you might ask? It's when you decide to up and just stop talking to a person without telling them why or saying goodbye.
It's a real thing, and I know people who have done it to others. The other person keeps texting, but they never respond. Ever.
What is it about telling someone we aren't interested that makes it so nerve-wracking? Is it more about saving our own face, or saving their feelings? Because ghosting seems like it could hurt more if the person is actually interested and thought the other person might be as well, but then all of a sudden they fell off the face of the earth.
Conclusion: Dating sucks.
Whatever happened to the days of meeting each other and it not being awful? Whether by mutual friends, at school, on an app or even through work. And then getting to know each other through conversations, talking about dreams and aspirations and being open with how you ended up feeling about the other person?
Perhaps those days aren't actually long gone, because if I'm hopeful for the best, then someone else must be, right?
