The idea first came to me while I was joking around with my friends – talking about how we would forever be single, one person said, “Yeah, I’m actually dating myself.” We laughed about it, but I began to think about that sentence. I remembered Ann Perkins from “Parks and Recreation,” a fictional character that turned out to have fantastic results when she declared that she was going to date herself.
I will be the first person to admit that I have always been boy crazy. When I meet new guys, I always try to decide whether I think they’re cute or not. What can I say? It never hurts to scope out datable material. However, once I began to do research on the subject, I realized that dating myself was something I needed to do. It claimed to be a confidence booster, and I realized that it was time that I focused on myself and decide whether I was cute or not.
At first it was kind of weird. Before heading out for class, I would look in the mirror and try to find one thing I liked about myself. Even if I couldn’t find anything, I would force myself to pick my eyes or my hair or my smile. It began to work, and I started to look less and less ugly every day. At night, I would make sure to do something for myself; my favorite was a Friday night when I went down the street to get cider, then came back to my room and watched “Shrek the Musical” by myself. I actually had a lot of fun, and I looked forward to the little things every day.
I knew for sure it was working when I went to the mall to find a gift for myself. I wasn’t sure exactly what I wanted, but I headed in one of my favorite stores and found a cute crop top that I wouldn’t have dared to pick up before. When I tried it on in the dressing room, I was shocked - I actually looked amazing. I had never thought that about myself before. I had to buy it.
It was sort of a surprise when, less than a month after this journey to confidence began, a boy came into my life. He was better than all the ones to come before him, at first because he initiated the prospect. He proved to be even better because he was sweet, understanding, and able to have mature talks with me. He even called me beautiful, something a boy had never done before. I attributed this to the fact that I made myself more confident, and therefore more attractive.
After this short-lived encounter ended, I had the true test of all that I had gained in the previous month. I will be the first to admit that I probably didn’t accept the end as gracefully as I could (my apologies to the boy if he’s reading this), but I noticed a few positives come out of it. I was quickly able to realize that the end wasn’t my fault; beforehand, I would have beat myself up incessantly about it. I’m also able to see that there will be other boys in my life, and while I may have to wait it will be worth it in the end. In the meantime, I look forward to dating myself more, reminding myself how important I am, and becoming the confident woman I was meant to be.
