Dance has always been part of my life or as long as I can remember. Dance is apart of me, it is who I am. My mom originally signed me up because I was a very shy child. She wanted me to break out of my shell. The only part I remeber my first year of dancing is a small part at the very end. I was in the dressing room during on of the recital's and a few of my classmates were playing Polly Pockets with me. This is back in 2002, when they were really popular.
The next year is a little bit more in my memory. I remmeber I would fight my mother on not going to dance because I hated it. That I look stupid and no one will ever want to be friends with a dancer. I never won in the end, she still made me go, and I am glad she did.
I am currently in my 17th year of dancing, 10th year of competing, 7th year of assisting and 2nd year teaching. looking back you would not of thought that I would be where I am today with dance. If I am being honest, dance saved my life.
When I was in the 6th grade, my mother had passed away. This hit me as you would exoect it to hit any little girl. I was devistated, I was at a lost of who I was. The day she passed away I had dance. No one in my family wanted me to go. Everyone wanted me at home to greive. I refused to be in that atomosphere, and truthfully, I am glad I chose to go to dance.
I remember walking in and everyone already knew. People could tell I was off. My teacher at the time, who shall not be named, did not want me to be there because of all that was going on. I was not going to jeperdize losing my dance skill for this. My dance studio is my Home. 'Miss' Shannon will always be my second mother.
Shannon makes the studio a safe haven for girls. When I lost my mother, Shannon was one of the first people to come over and hug me. This is the moment that made me want to become a dance teacher.
I grew up with amazing dance teachers who pushed me and made me into the woman I am today. They kept my art alive. I wanted to give back what I learned to incoming kids. I want them to have that safe space Shannon gave me. I want them to know they have someone older than them to look up to, to be their home away from home. Every single one of my students I treat with so much tender love and care. I want them to enjoy dance like I have learned. I want them to make these relationships with their classmates because dance friends stick around.
I used to dance for the pure reason, I loved to entertain. I love being on stage and making people happy, sad, have a feeling. I also danced because it was something that I loved. It was a natural ability for me. But, once my mother passed away, a new reason came into play. On top of all of the pervious, I dance for my mother. Every time I'm in class or on stage, I push myself and push myself because I hear here telling me what to fix. She tells me where I need more energy. One thing I do not have that other girls do is a mother to help them with their dances or after I come off stage. I have the other dance moms, but I do not have my own. The closest I get to her is being on that stage.
I dance for my mother. Every time I'm out on stage, she is right next to me as my good luck charm. She is why I am where I am today.
My life with dance is not because I love the sport, it is for my Mama. It is for the kids who come from a rough home life and want a place to escape. My life with dance is for others, not myself. When I can see others happy by the experince they get or from watching it, is what makes me keep doing what I am doing.