Crushes suck and we all know it. They can turn the coolest down to earth people into crazy, slightly obsessive lunatics. They can turn the most independent and self loving people into Instagram stalking, self doubting puddles. Simply put, crushes are just the worst and here is why:
1. You always say stupid things around them.
Your once cool and collected self suddenly becomes a babbling idiot. And every time you try to save yourself, you make it worse. It isn’t your fault that their eyes makes you unable to form coherent sentences. And it definitely isn't your fault that every time their hair does that one thing, you absolutely melt on the inside.
2. Or you don’t say anything at all.
You can’t bring up the courage to say anything that is remotely interesting. You over analyze every thought that pops into your head and by the time you’re ready to speak, the subject has changed and you’re too late.
3. You can’t stop thinking about them.
A.K.A you have already daydreamed about the color scheme for your wedding and named your 3 children. You do the cliché, “draw their name in your physics notebook with hearts all around it”. (or maybe just their initials in case someone finds your secret doodles) You think about them during many hours of the day, often with Taylor Swift's "You Belong With Me" playing in the back of your mind.
4. You try to bump into them but it always fails.
You casually walk by their favorite hang-out spot and, of course, they aren't even there. You put a little extra time into making sure your eyebrows are just right and it just so happens that they skipped class that day. It seems that every time you make an attempt, your efforts go unnoticed. Lucky you.
5. You end up bumping into them when you don’t look or feel like wifey material.
It’s those few times, when you look a hot mess, that he happens to be walking by. He waves hello and you wave back with a burger stuffed in your face. Or maybe he catches you when you're drenched in sweat from your 15 minutes on the exercise bike (working out is hard).
6. Seeing them with somebody else is actually soul crushing.
Watching your crush fall in love with someone or even just flirt with someone who isn’t you feels quite similar to drowning. It feels like you’ll never be good enough and quite frankly, like the world might just be ending. Of course, the feeling passes with time but right now you'd like a gallon of cookies and cream ice cream, please. You treat it like a break up even though you were never even dating.
7. When you lurk on social media and get your feelings hurt.
You Facebook stalk, Instagram stalk, Twitter stalk and find information that you could have done without. Any picture of them with somebody attractive actually stresses you out, even if it is, in fact, just his cousin. You end up looking at pictures of them and their ex from 2013 and you wonder if you'll ever find love.
8. You can’t stop going back and forth.
“You don’t need his attention, you’re independent. But wait he’s so cute, we’d make the best couple. I think he likes me, he said hi to me. He totally likes me. But he’s walking Becky to class, he doesn’t like me he totally hates me.” You play this mind game of he-loves-me-he-loves-me-not and it always ends up with you thinking the worst.
9. You freak out when your phone beeps.
You run to your phone in hopes that their name pops up saying you got a snap. It isn’t your crush…it’s your mom, always.
10. You smile like an idiot when you causally hang out.
You often have to remind yourself in self-thought: “Chill it with the serial killer smile and the fake giggles, they aren’t cute. Just be yourself” Even though you don't mean to, you continue to revert back to your ways and hope to remain unnoticed.
11. Having to pretend like everything is cool.
Although all of this crazy, over dramatic crush nonsense is happening in your mind, (and in your heart) you have to show none of it. They probably think you're a regular person but on the inside, just as you appear on the outside, so let them keep thinking that. Otherwise, you risk the chance of them knowing how you actually feel and that would just be awful.
12. Them saying they aren’t into you breaks your heart.
Eventually being just friends will be perfectly fine with you, better even, but right now it feels like a thousand daggers in your poor heart. Especially if you built up the courage to tell them how you really feel. But it’s okay. It won’t be long before you accidentally start crushing on the next one and it starts all over again. Go you. The only escape from this torturous cycle is to magically get them to fall in love with you. Good luck.
