In high school, I didn’t care too much about being super involved or friendly, it was just a means to get to college.

And even if I had cared about that stuff I definitely wouldn’t have cared to do it with the people who were there. In high school, you get pushed into cliques and categories that I didn’t care to be a part of. I was pretty selfish in high school. Freshmen and sophomore year I was super depressed and isolated myself, and junior and senior year were spent raising my GPA and trying to find out what I wanted and what could make me happy.

But let’s get back to the cliques.

They were the strangest thing. I got to high school and I thought, wait, I thought this stuff was dramatized for Disney Channel movies? But nope, people literally cared about being cool. And they said that out loud. How embarrassing - to establish your identity on the grounds of being cool? Like honestly, I was so confused. But I guess high school is just such a weird time in your adolescence that most people are so insecure that they need that kind of validation. Don’t get me wrong, I was definitely insecure in high school, I just didn’t wanna make it worse by embarrassing myself while trying to be cool.

I watched a lot of weird things. I watched girls literally change everything about themselves in a desperate attempt to fit in and watching them made me totally happy to be on my own because honestly they looked ridiculous. It was weird; it was so obvious the crowd they wanted did not want them. I will never understand losing yourself like that for people who will never be your true friends. I watched people who I thought were my friends transform into actual monsters. One of my best friends in sophomore year said things to me that could honestly probably have gotten him arrested.

When I got to college, I had the opportunity to be whoever I wanted since I was in a new place, and I decided to be way more outgoing and involved. College is where I found my people. It was so much easier to connect with people in college because everyone is in a new place and most people coming to the school didn’t know anyone else here. College is way less cliquey and way more fun. I couldn’t wait to leave my high school, but I dread leaving my college.

Nevertheless, I survived and am loving college. Needless to say, I probs won’t be at my high school reunion.