College is not easy-- and I’m not just talking about the academics. Most of us can agree that we’ve taken a couple (or more than a couple) L’s the first fall quarter of our freshman year. Adjusting to different lifestyles, mindsets, environments, and people is something we, as freshmen, finally get a taste of. While some undergo a graceful transition, others get a slap of reality; it just is what it is. Your former high school self is flung onto this foreign planet called stress, which was last visited before senioritis hit you. The stress of meeting new people in a class of 600, waking up for that 8:30 lecture, choosing salad over pizza, dressing to impress at parties, and taking tests on a platform the size of your hand are all things we have battled with. There’s one more thing that not all, but some have struggled with: relationships.
While you are trudging through this challenging time in your life, the dynamic between you and your significant other begin to change. It’s no longer just you two. During high school, it was easy to become consumed in each other because you had security. I mean, think about it. You lived in that city your whole life, you already had friends, your senior year was a breeze, and your summer was filled with the food and people you love. With this peace of mind, all you really had to worry about was where you guys wanted to eat, when the next episode of your favorite show was, or where all the snacks were in each others’ pantries. Transitioning into college was bound to mess with this carefree phase. Some people--like myself--just weren’t prepared for it. I’m definitely not saying it’s impossible, just very difficult to simply press resume at a particular time in a song when the next song is already playing. And by song, I’m referring to high school relationships in a now college environment. Attempting to juggle your new responsibilities while maintaining the same commitment and time put into your relationship prior to college can quickly leave you restless.
Luckily, the hardest part about maintaining relationships isn’t all the bullets you have to dodge throughout your first quarter. The most difficulty lies within yourself. You are changing. You are constantly discovering new interests, new friend groups, new hobbies and ultimately, a new you. A big reason why two individuals drift apart is because they start heading in different directions. But what if one person has changed, and the other hasn’t? This is where tension starts to grow and things get uncomfortable. Whether you’re the one who changed or the one who hasn’t, trust plays a big role in your relationship. Instead of just stating that trust is what you need, the starting point is being transparent with your partner about your insecurities. Everyone has them. But, communicating them properly and working through a fair compromise helps to increase awareness and find a happy medium. Change is inevitable and the way you both respond to it speaks volumes about the strength of your relationship. Attempting to combat change by using control often burns the bridges of trust. Remember, there is no trust in control. Having the capability of living separate lives, but staying committed to each other at the end of the day is key to a healthy relationship.
College is a beautiful, new chapter of your life that you only experience once before the next chapter takes over. The people who leave, remain and come into your life all have a purpose that helps mold you into a better you. While transitioning into college is not the easiest, you will learn so much about yourself as you are tested at every angle. You’ll quickly learn your strengths and weaknesses, which can help propel you forward in becoming the person you’ve always wanted to become. Sometimes, you have to walk down your path alone. Sometimes, you deviate from your original route. Sometimes, your GPS does a complete 180 and you head the opposite way. No matter what, always think of a valuable relationship as a good ass book with an unsatisfying ending. Just because it didn’t end the way you wanted, doesn’t mean the characters and plot weren’t good along the way. Don’t throw away all of the experiences and memories shared with your significant other. Cherish them, and move forward with your chin up. Great things await-- your GPS has yet to tell you your destination.
