Four more years have gone by...

Should I rejoice or should I cry?

Have I lost or have I won?

I am at the start line with no energy to run

Four years of drama and stupidity

Going above and beyond for others, but some say I have no humility

Man I used to dream about what college would be like

A place where you can reason like the French in the salons from days gone by

Is unfortunately a place where laziness and sex is glorified

I am sorry that I chose to keep my dignity

Instead of sticking out like a sore thumb at a party

You see because my peers choose to judge my appearance and my reserved nature

Call me a bully when I speak up for myself, or a snake by an irrelevant acquaintance

I know who I am let's not get it mistaken

I have been lied to and used

When I should have focused like I always do and obsess over school

"Have fun they said, go to parties they said"

So I went and I hung out

And I loathe the consequences even more so now

Coming from an all-girl high school and then being surrounded by men

Correction* I mean grown boys who claim that they are mature

Yet they treat you like toys

Objects to discard at their leisure

Young and dumb you'll do it for the pleasure

But four years later you are single and over it

Detached from affection even more than before

And looked down upon if you refuse to be a whore

Being an intellectual is glorified by professors

When being an athlete is highly regarded amongst students

My major is not what it used to be according to so many in my field

Apparently I have to do social work if I refuse to carry a badge and a shield

Federal job? What are those when you have dreamt all your life of becoming a fed

Now the dictator put them on hold

But I am supposed to be happy and put on a smile

When your dreams have been crushed from when you were a child

My whole life is ahead of me yet all I want to do is sleep

Being told what to do your whole life and then being thrown into adulting without any experience or adult watching your every move is scary

I have been an "adult" for almost a year and I am over it

What did I yearn to grow up for as a child?

To live under such restrictions and regret not going wild?

No boyfriend, no parties, no sleepovers, little fun

Counting the days when this will all be done

Adulting is not for me you see

The American Dream of working hard until you die, to remain in the middle class and go no higher, to earn less than a female of any race other than "Black"(which is a color not a race and my skin is brown not black f.y.i), get married then divorced, be forced to have children, live in debt, work the same monotonous job everyday, and then die without knowing the meaning of the quality of life isn't for me

So at graduation the list of things that I mentioned and then some will be circling in my head

Will I rejoice or lament?

What should I do instead?

I am happy to leave but my routine is ending

I do not like the feeling of my life pending

So hope you enjoyed my little story about my amazing college experience

As I count the 60 days left until it all ends or better yet begins...