Let's talk about what to do when you don't know what to do.
I was going through my journal the other day and I realized that every time I was feeling low and inadequate and disconnected from myself, the way that expressed in my journal entries was a desire for clarity. A sense of: “God, I just wish I knew what I was doing. I wish I had some validation that I am on the right path and doing the right things to get me to where I want to go! Please help me find clarity, because right now I am in such a fog and I have no idea what to do."
It is so painful and frustrating when you just have no idea what to do. Your chest feels tight, your breath is constricted and your mind races, trying desperately to find the answer.
The more I meditated on this experience, however, the more I realized that when it comes to the discussion of wanting to know what to do, it's not really about clarity.
See if you can bring into your mind's eye a time when you felt really at home in yourself. A time when you felt safe and at peace. Maybe you were watching a sunset or cuddling with your partner. Maybe you were biking or running or doing yoga.
In these moments when we feel safe, settled and comfortable, it doesn't really matter that we don't have clarity. You don't need it to feel confident and loved and powerful. You don't need it to take action forward. You don't need it to feel really good in your life.
The irony is when you feel at home within yourself. That is usually when you get the best downloads and vision for your next step. But even if you don't, it just doesn't matter because that tense energy around having to feel certain and clear just isn't there anymore.
It’s not because anything changed in the external world to relate to you that everything is good. You first felt it on the inside and then the outside didn’t seem so scary and overwhelming.
So why do we have such a passion for clarity when we are feeling so disconnected and low? What does it mean when we have such a desperation for it?
Here's where I would like for you to shift your perspective. Instead of looking at the calling for clarity as calling for answers, I invite you to see the call for clarity as a calling for home. A longing for love.
Because answers come when you’re feeling nestled within your own heart. The lack of clarity isGod calling you back to yourself.
So when you find yourself freaking out about not knowing what to do and feeling so frustrated that you're not sure you're on the right track and you have no idea how to get what you want, what you are really asking is, “God/Universe, help me find my way home.”
Trust this calling. As Rumi writes, "What you seek is seeking you." This longing is love. This calling is God. It's the Universe inviting you back to Truth. Let go and come back to love, darling. And all the answers you crave will be given to you when it's time.
How do we come back home? Ah, that is where we infuse the power of spiritual practices. Of mindfulness. Of slowing down and being present. Do whatever it takes to ground yourself back to the truth of who you are. Stop with the doing and the perpetuating of the fear. Instead, choose practices that heal. Meditate. Pray. Walk outside. Whatever lights you up will bring you back home.