Breakups suck. Heartbreak sucks. Losing the person you've invested so much time into sucks. There is no easy way out of a relationship that just isn't working, especially when both people want it to work so badly. You may think life isn't fair for letting this happen to you, but in reality, life isn't fair for a reason. That reason is not to punish us, but to help us along the path we are destined to take.
Perspective is everything
When my relationship ended, I was crazy to say the least. Saying things I didn't mean when I was hurt was my specialty, and this was my worst moment. Eventually though, the crazy subsided, and reality kicked in. I realized there was nothing else I could have said or done to make the relationship work, and I had to let go. From the past, I've always seen exes resent each other and I never understood why. How could two people who were madly in love at one point say such vile things about one another after they weren't together anymore? I didn't understand until I was put into that position myself. Its easy to play the blame game when you're the one hurting, but you have to have the perspective from both sides. When you consider the other person's perspective, it's easy to see how and why it didn't work from their side.
Think positive, be positive
Being bitter takes up more energy than keeping a positive mindset about the unfavorable situation. For me, being bitter seemed like the easy way out. It was easy to put the person that broke me into a world full of hate. I felt the need to bash his name and reputation every chance I had because I thought it would make things easier. I realized though that being positive wasn't only going to keep me in balance, it was also going to show I was stronger than everyone thought. The people in my life believed I was going to dive head first into shallow, rocky, shark infested waters, when what I actually did was fly. It wasn't easy getting myself up off the ground, but once I did, I had never felt better.
It takes two to tango
A relationship requires two people to make it work. You can't just have one person putting in one hundred percent and calling it good. You both have to work together to build a solid foundation of love and trust to keep the momentum going. With that being said, it also takes two to destroy what you've worked so hard for. My relationship eventually died out from exhaustion, lack of trust, and loss of feelings we once had for one another. At one point we became so vicious towards each other that it felt like I almost hated him. I only had seen my side of the story when we ended things, and I felt betrayed. I only saw the things he put me through, but one day I realized I was no sunshine or walk in the park either. I was difficult and stubborn. I created many of the issues and problems we faced. I had no room to feel bitter because we were both to blame.
It's always bittersweet
Its hard to look at someone who was once your love and best friend as someone you can't stand to be around anymore. Sure, the ending of a relationship that I had known for years was one of the most difficult things I've experienced. In a way though, it was very bittersweet. It was nice to think about not having to deal with the anxiety and pressure that I felt when I was with him. It was refreshing to know that I didn't have to feel so alone and down when he wouldn't want to spend time with me or even check on me to see how my day was going. More than that though, he was my best friend. I spent so much of my life with him. I told him all of my deepest secrets. He knew everything from the way I hate the cracking of joints to the love I have for Harry Potter. In the end, I knew there was no way I could have talked badly about the person I did everything with.
Heartbreak is a lesson
I am a firm believer that everything happens for a reason. People come and go in life and most of the time it is because they are a lesson to be learned. If you never experience heartbreak, you will never really know what it is to love to your fullest ability. I never thought the person I was with would actually leave until he did. Whether it be your first heartbreak or tenth, it never gets easier. You still lose a part of yourself and what you have worked so hard for. Not everyone you lose is a loss, and not everyone in your life is meant to stay there.
