Ah, Greek life. One of the most debated things among college students. Some love it. Some despise it. Some couldn't care less. No matter where you stand on the subject, it's pretty clear that Greek life is a huge aspect of the college experience -- if you aren't in a fraternity or a sorority, you're probably surrounded by members of them. Or you've probably heard stories about something stupid or dangerous that one of them did. That is, unless you specifically choose a college or university that bans them. Which is what I did.
I have many reasons for this decision. For me, I don't get the appeal of the whole thing. When I was on college tours at schools like Rutgers (which do allow Greek life), I was overwhelmed with the cheeriness and the in-your-face aspect of the girls that were trying to get me into their organization. They came up to me, surrounding me with a chorus of loud hellos and getting way too close to me to shove posters and pamphlets into my face, explaining what they stood for and the upcoming events they were hosting. In an effort to be friendly towards me, they were causing me to draw more into myself and shy away from them. I specifically remember looking at my dad and saying, "Those girls are so peppy that it kind of hurts to look at." That just has never been my scene -- happy, beaming girls with their arms around each other, all wearing the same shirt and holding up their Greek letters. I couldn't wrap my head around the concept of being accepted into this group, immediately being assigned to a "big," and then having to tag along to all sorts of societal events that I may not even want to be a part of. That sort of "comaraderie" wasn't what I was into.
Sororities give you instant friendships, but also instant obligations. I know that Greek life isn't just a bunch of girls sitting around in a fancy house getting drunk and hooking up with guys -- that's the kind of misconception that gives them a bad reputation. I know that there are a lot of philanthropy and community service projects that come along with being a member of these organizations. But to me, I'd rather do these things on my own time -- not because someone higher up than me is telling me that I have to do them. My friends and I don't all go everywhere with everyone all of the time. We don't attend functions because we have to. Not only would I not have the proper time to dedicate to being a good sorority member, but I don't want to dedicate that much time to something like that.
On the other hand, I have heard plenty of horror stories about Greek life, straight from members themselves. My mother told me the stories of the horrible times that her sorority had been cruel not only to her, but to other members as well. She explained sororities to be something that was catty, cliquey, and something that she found so tasteless and unbearable that one day, she told all of the girls off and quit. My father got into a huge fight with his fraternity brothers because they tried to tell him he had to spend more time with them and less time with his best friend, because his best friend wasn't a part of their group. Stories like that make me not want to be a part of Greek life, because even if it isn't true for all branches of Greek life, I don't want to be part of an organization that harbors exclusion in that type of way. I don't want to be part of an organization that is so known for drinking and partying culture and is constantly making the news with some of the bad decisions that it has made. I don't want to be an instant member of a "cool" clique. I want to build my own, and I want to be inclusive rather than exclusive, and I don't want to have to wear matching shirts and go to semi-formals and work at fundraisers that I have no interest in.
I haven't ever had any interest in Greek life, and I've had a perfectly fine college experience thus far. I've met a lot of friends, gone to a lot of school functions and charity events, and I wouldn't change a thing. I don't want to have a social life that requires mandatory things, such as attending events or working fundraisers or getting certain grades or hosting certain meetings. To me, when you start to make those things mandatory, is it really your social life at all, or somebody else's? One of the things I find most perplexing is how seemingly every sorority girl in the entire world is in absolute love with her "big." Is she really, though? What're the odds that everyone absolutely adores the person they're paired with? Pretty slim. But in the Greek life culture, you are supposed to just be so in love with all of your awesome new sisters, and you're supposed to love everyone and be so happy to be in your group of new, fantastic friends. But here's a news flash that might shock you: real, lifelong friends are not made that way.
This is why, when I chose Fordham, the "no Greek life" factor was a huge piece of the decision for me. Not only was I happy to go to my dream school, but it was partially my dream school because I knew I wouldn't have to deal with the "in vs. out" and "us vs. them" mentalities that comes with being on a campus where Greek life is prevalent. They remind me so much of elementary school, when people would make clubs and exclude others. Are we still five years old? No. I want to make my friends because they're actually interesting, genuinely kind people -- not people that I was supposed to like just because we're in the same organization, and then maybe I actually will end up liking them. I want my college experience to be genuine. I don't want friends and a social life handed to me -- I want to find those things on my own.
If you read through this entire article and decided that you still want to be a part of Greek life in the future, or you're already a member of Greek life and are feeling slightly insulted, don't. This is just my opinion. To me, Greek life isn't something I find necessary. It's the same reason you aren't a member of every single club and extracirriculars your school offers -- some of them just aren't for you. And Greek life isn't for me.
