I started a job this summer working with kindergartners through fifth graders, and I’ve been there for about three weeks. This past week one if the older girls looked at me and asked, “Miss Becky do you ever wear makeup?” I told her that I used to but I stopped wearing it. Her reply was, “Why? You don’t like it?” I told her no, I like makeup I just chose not to wear it anymore.
About two or three months ago I stopped wearing makeup almost completely. But when I started college a year ago I had the opposite in mind. When I left for school in August 2015 I planned to wear makeup every day, and I did for about two weeks. Then every day turned into when I had something out of the ordinary going on and on Sundays of course. Sometime after the beginning of this year it turned into very special occasions and still for Sunday morning church. Then I decided to quit wearing it almost completely, including no longer wearing it to church. I think I have only put on full make up, which for me was just concealer, powder, eyeliner, and mascara, once in two almost three months and that was for a formal function for my friend’s graduation. Other than that I have put on mascara two or three times and worn lipstick twice since I’ve been home this summer. The only other time I plan to put on full make up again this summer is when I go to my friend’s wedding.
I’m not completely sure what inspired me to quit wearing it; I think it was a little bit of a lot of things. One part was of course I could have more sleep because I didn’t have to wake up as early. But I believe the biggest reasons where because of the things I started learning at school. I was blessed to find a great group of Christian girls, and we sort of became our own little family. Through them I learned what it means to be truly vulnerable with someone, and after I had experienced that I learned that I didn’t have to work so hard to hide my flaws, and that they didn’t make me less than in any way. Because hiding was a large part of what I wore makeup for, to hide the dark circles that are constantly present under my eyes, and to also add an extra layer of protection between me and other people so that they wouldn’t know what I was feeling. I didn’t think I could be honest with people about how I felt with anything, even things that made me happy, so I liked to hide behind makeup. But I’ve learned that being honest and vulnerable with people is not only how you heal but also how you make true friendships, and how you make life change. If you are never honest with another person you can’t really expect to change, because you have no one there to hold you accountable.
The other reason I used to wear makeup and the reason I stopped is because of my self-esteem. I used to think very little of myself, and I absolutely hated the way that I looked. I thought that makeup improved my looks a bit so I tried to wear it often. But over the past year, I’ve learned to appreciate how I look. There are still some parts I don’t love about myself both physically and in other categories. But I’m human, so I know that it’s okay to want to change some things about myself. But I had to learn that makeup does not make me beautiful, it’s the way I act that should draw other people’s attention, not how attractive or unattractive I am. I’ve learned that makeup isn’t going to make my insecurities go away and it isn’t going to truly make me like how I look. I had to and have to learn how to do those things on my own and makeup tends to make me feel a bit worse about how I actually look. So I have chosen to start learning how to completely, or at least mostly, love how I actually look and worry about how others think I look later.
Now I’m not writing this to try to convince you to stop wearing makeup, I think it is a great thing and it is fun to do. But I think that it is important that you learn to at least appreciate how you look naturally. You don’t have to be perfect to be beautiful, and I want you to know that, because it took me almost 20 years to figure it out. So please learn your worth and your value do not come from your physical appearance. They do come from the beauty with in. We should try to pay more attention to our hearts and our thought life than we do our physical apperance.
