I like to write and hang out with my dog and watch sports and go on car rides with the windows down and eat wings. I’d like to say I enjoy running, but I don’t – I just like the feeling after I run.

To say I can’t remember the last time I did these things would be a lie. I do them all the time. However, actually taking the time to enjoy these things doesn’t happen as often as I wish. Usually, when I’m doing one of these things, my mind is in 32 other places. I’m also driving, thinking about plans for that night, thinking about work, and remembering the 107 other things on my list of things to do before I start my day the next morning.

I’ve been raised as a person to love and give second chances and to see the good in people. Maybe I love too much. Maybe I give people seven-second chances. Maybe I know the dark side of people, but I put that behind me because I know deep down they really are good people. Some may see this as a strength, maybe because they lack that aspect in life. I see it as a weakness. Not because I don’t believe in second chances and seeing the good in people, but because along the way, I started choosing other people before I chose myself. I lost myself trying to make other people happy. But for what? When did their happiness of two or three hours become more than my own happiness?

Through college and even long after, so many people come into your life. You try hard to always “be there” for them and prove you care. No one wants to lose people they care about. So you do and do and do. But your doing is for them. Through relationships, friendships, family, co-workers, etc., you feel like you have to prove your worth, and technically speaking you do. But after some of those relationships fail, you start to ask yourself, “What’s wrong with me?” “Why am I not good enough?” “What do I need to change about myself?”

The answer is nothing. Nothing is wrong with you and you are good enough. But the reason you feel like you aren’t good enough is because you aren’t putting yourself first. You aren’t choosing yourself. You’ll realize that people will treat you the way you treat yourself. They will push until they hit the limit of what you will and will not put up with. As cheesy as the saying is, you can not be truly loved until you learn to love yourself.

For most people this is a hard concept. You have a scar on your face, or you aren’t skinny enough, you need to be tanner, your hair needs to be more blonde, you don’t have the newest iPhone, the list goes on forever. But these are all material things that don’t prove who you actually are, as a person.

Treat yo' self, Girl. Find things that you love to do; whether that’s working out, or writing or taking selfies with your dog (definitely not judging). Do those things and actually take the time to enjoy them. It’s okay to improve yourself or work on becoming the best version of yourself. When you do those two things, you are choosing you. Nothing is wrong with that.

There will always be people that we will swim across the Atlantic ocean for, but they won’t cross a puddle for us—you choose those people and know that you may end up hurt. But don’t wait for someone to choose you. You have to start choosing yourself.