Why I Choose To Be Single | The Odyssey Online
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Relationships

Why I Choose To Be Single

As if I really have a choice.

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Why I Choose To Be Single
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Before I write this, I will state this disclaimer that I am not a girl in a position of having a number of guys lining up after me.

I am fully aware that I go unnoticed more than not, and my gentlemen prospects are slim to none.

So being single is not really a choice, but by the fact that no one has really expressed their interest.

That being said, if someone were to express a level of interest like this, I would most likely... turn them down.

That would be the choice in all of this. The choice to be alone.

The choice to be single.

Now I am not saying that I don't think about it, because I do, quite frequently.

There is always at least a moment every day when I think about what it would be like to have a significant other in my life.

Someone tangible and real and amazing.

But for some reason, that moment fleets my mind and my thoughts turn to the multitude of reasons on why I have made this choice in the first place.

And the main reason is freedom.

Pure freedom.

I am not tied down by the constant anxiety I would be crippled with if I did have someone like that in my life.

I do not have the time or emotional capacity to tack on yet another person who will require my love or attention.

I am pre-occupied, independent and determined- and whatever room is left in my life, I use that for the people already in my mind and heart.

I know I am not ready for a relationship now, nor in the near future, and there is a good chance that I will never be.

Relationships and marriage are not a priority for me. In fact, the thought of marriage repels me into a full-fledged panic attack.

I cannot even imagine being a person in my 20s ready to legally bind my life to someone else for the rest of my days. It is just not going to happen.

It immediately kicks on my flight or fight instinct- and you can bet that I would most definitely run like a bat out of hell.

Now, although these are my own personal views, it does not mean that I don't think it cannot work for other young couples.

Just because I can't imagine knowing myself well enough to grasp who I am supposed to spend the rest of my life with, doesn't mean others are similar.

And I really do commend those couples who can say they know, I just personally don’t understand how someone decides that.

I cannot imagine being knowledgeable enough of myself to ever settle down. Ever.

All I know is that I am loving the life I have.

I have started on a path to a career that I am eagerly passionate about.

I get to go to school and be educated in subjects that fascinate and inspire me.

I get to work at such wonderful places and am surrounded by magnificent people who have changed my life indefinitely.

And I wouldn't change a thing about any of it.

Because I feel like I have waited so long for this time in my life.

This time of clarity and peace that I have found in this life I am starting to make for myself.

I am excited for all I will experience.

The traveling, the learning, the thriving.

So no, to answer the nagging question I get asked all the time, I am absolutely in no rush to find that "perfect" soulmate.

For what? Anniversaries and hand holding?

Chocolate and cuddling?

I have enough dates and birthdays to remember as it is.

I find holding hands excruciatingly awkward anyways.

I can walk into a See's Candies and buy my own damn chocolate whenever the hell I feel like it.

And I have two perfectly snuggly dogs when I feel like I need a cuddle sesh.

I am adamant about making sure that in those rare moments of doubt, in those times I think how nice it would be to have someone to care for me like that, I look at the many parts of myself that would have to change if I had a "boyfriend" (ugh, I hate labels).

I would have to change the level of independence I have come to absolutely love.

I would have to change the mindset that I have which is that I can have everything I want in life without a relationship validating my worth or purpose- which no, is not to be somebody's wife.

I am okay with where I am and how I walk through this life.

And I will never need any man’s love or affirmations to make me feel complete.

I am not someone's "better half".

I am just me...and I am just as wholesome as ever.

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
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