After groggily waking up at 7:30 in the morning, dressing up, and walking a couple streets over, I finally arrived at my local church. As I walked into the church, I admired the large and colorful stained glass windows and the dark-wooded doors and walls of the building. Shortly after taking in the rustic smell of candles and wood, I slightly dipped my fingers into the cold holy water, then sat down in a creaky pew and waited for the 8:30 am mass to begin.
As mass started, an older woman sat on my left and a middle-aged man on my right. The woman looked very sad, and the man seemed on the verge of a breakdown.
After rising from his chair, the priest walked to the middle of the room, and after giving the normal prayers at the beginning of mass, he started discussing relationships. "Now, contradictory to popular belief, the Bible does not change, even when society demands it too. Remember how Jesus was treated? Therefore, when society pushes us to change or alter our beliefs to theirs', we must remain strong and faithful to our faith".
The priest continued speaking, and at one point, touched upon the institution of marriage.
"To speak on marriage, the Bible does say that marriage is between one man and one woman, and that is that". He then started to read scriptures from Leviticus and Corinthians in order to back up what he was saying. And as he started to read some of these lines from the Book, some people started to clap; the hairs on my neck had already risen at that point. And as I continued to hear these contradictory lines being spoken, my cell phone dinged.
I quickly reached into my pocket to take it out and put it on silent, but by that point, half of the church was looking at me in disappointed faces. And right as I turned my phone on silent, I saw that I got an update from the NY Times. "
Grand Jury report finds 1,000 cases of sex abuse occurred in PA Catholic Diocese, and the church's cover-up efforts"
After reading this, I felt even more uneasy as I watched the priest continue with his speech on the morals and sanctity of marriage. He at one point discussed how to start a family, and how the use of contraceptives are wrong.
The man to the right of me, hearing this, got up quickly, and ran out of the church, despite dropping one of his papers. And from where I was sitting, I could see the brochure read "How to live life as a person with HIV". I then looked at my phone again, as the situation became more uncomfortable.
After the priest ended his speech and said a couple of traditional prayers, he blessed and broke the communion bread, which was then distributed to the other deacons who would give the bread to the churchgoers. As I waited in line for the communion bread, I saw the woman on my left approach the deacon, and give the normal gesture to receive the bread; yet the deacon did not give it to her.
"Sorry Mrs. Brooks, but you cannot receive the communion bread," the deacon said. "Just because I got a divorce doesn't mean that I shouldn't receive the bread! I come here every Sunday!" she said.
"Sadly, because you got a divorce, and broke God's law, then you cannot receive the body of Jesus Christ" he responded. The woman became distraught, and showed her the bruises on her neck as she said "This is what my husband did to me the night that you denied me the religious annulment! I wanted to get out of that marriage so badly, but you all made me stay! And because of me wanting to get away from my husband, I am the one who is being punished? How dare you judge me! You all should look at yourselves before you pass any judgments to your audience!" she yelled. Then she walked fastly out of the church, with her in tears, and makeup smothered.
Seeing this, I instinctively stepped out of line and walked right out of the church. I refused to be a part of an institution that not only prohibits leniency but also can break the human spirit.
As I reached the doors to the exit of the church, I could feel the judgmental eyes of everyone behind me, and with one brave step, like the beginning of a long journey, I moved forward; and to this day, I have never looked back.
Further Reading:
As Vatican Revisits Divorce, Many Catholics Long For Acceptance
Vast majority of U.S. Catholics who left the church can't imagine returning, study says
Why the Roman Catholic Church still struggles with sexual abuse scandals