Every day I wake up with a goal to be a better person. Which sounds very cliché, don't you think?

One thing that I have is manners. Manners are embedded in my personality because I was raised with a level of respect. My parents did a fantastic job of raising me, better than any other parents I know, but my mother has always been the real MVP.

My mother always taught me to treat everyone with respect because things are interpreted differently by each person, and being disrespectful to the wrong person could be dangerous. Thanks to my mother’s wisdom, I have made so many friends. I love diversity, and I love everyone. I hardly have conflicts with anyone. This school year so far, I have met more people than I had throughout high school. It’s awesome to have friends. But, my kindness has created blurred vision, especially when it comes to judging a person. You see, when you’re nice and you do things for people, you attract the wrong crowd. You begin to attract disrespectful people who only want to take advantage of that compassion.

By being a nice person, I open my arms to everyone because that’s what a nice person does in general. But, being nice has also lowered my standards for friends and relationships. Over time, you become a product of your environment, so I want to surround myself with people who will encourage me to make good decisions and do great things. But, it’s hard for me to reject someone because by being nice, sometimes I forget to consider my own happiness.

I care more about making others happy than I do myself. In addition, I am not happy. But that doesn’t make sense, right? I like making others happy, so seeing them happy doesn’t make me happy? No. Sometimes I don’t want to do things, but I make sacrifices to see other people happy. Now, it is beginning to exhaust me. I can’t be myself if it makes others unhappy. I feel pressured by my close friends to make stupid decisions and it’s hard for me to say no. If I stand up for myself, I will lose my friends. Nobody likes being put in their place, especially by a “pushover.”

Two of the most important things to remember about life, especially when judging a person, is:

- You are a product of your surroundings.

- People will never change for someone, they will only change for themselves.

I have gone through many personality changes in the past month, to the point where I realize just how terrible I am letting myself be treated. I have been so nice to the wrong people who now feel as if they can say or do whatever they want to me. I have done so much for those people, and it’s hard for me to let them go, but toxicity is toxicity and I should not continue to sacrifice my well being to please them.

I hate being nice, but at the end of the day I will not change. True kindness is a rare thing in this new millennial.