It is hard to be a good person. I think I was raised mostly right, I feel like I know good morals, and I try to do the right thing most of the time. But being a good person is hard. Hurting people is easier a lot of the time. When you meet someone you don’t agree with or uncover a disagreement in a friendship that was previously undiscovered, it’s hard to accept those differences without trying to be right. And let’s be honest, it’s probably because accepting that we may not be right is difficult. Knowing that the thoughts so deeply engrained in our heads may not be the only truth is frustrating. And it makes being a good, accepting, gracious, humble person difficult.
And then, people come along that make it even harder. Politicians that spew unfathomable opinions, celebrities say the wrong thing, our parents reveal that they have never deserved the pedestal we put them on, and friends let us down. Those people, those situations, let us believe that being a good person is impossible. If the people we are supposed to look up to, respect, believe, vote for cannot be good people who say the right thing all of the time, how could we ever be?
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But then, people come along that make it easy. We meet people, read books, hear speeches, that remind us that people really may have gold in their hearts. The first time I remember realizing that people could be good was a strange one. I read The Kite Runner, and by the end I was sobbing, heartbroken. But as Khaled Hoesseni’s words sat with me, and the courage in the book resonated, my only thought was “if they can be good, so can I”.
And those were literary characters.
The real people have been even more impressive. When I read Gloria Steinem’s remarks in her memoir and learned of the uphill battle she has fought for a cause she believes in so wholeheartedly, I was reminded of how interchangeable tenacity and my idea of “good” were. As I learned more about Ariana Huffington and her commitment to helping people be their best selves, despite a lifetime of battling with the best in her industry, I saw how good the people I thought were my competition could be.
And those are high profile women.
The first time my high-strung, stressed-out, intimidating boss told me that the most important part of everything was being kind, thoughtful, and honest, I saw the influence of a good boss, but most importantly, the strength of a good leader.
What I’ve decided to start paying more attention to, is that being good is just as difficult as being bad. Being smart, courageous, thoughtful, tenacious, and brave takes effort, but being cold, regardless, thoughtless, and mean takes more.
Being a good person is hard, but the best people have let me see that being thoughtless, cold, and discriminatory is the easy way out.
Nothing worth doing has ever been easy.
