Do you want to know what I’m tired of? I’m so tired of trying to justify beauty. All the time we hear about unfair beauty standards and people trying to change our perceptions of what is considered beautiful. While I do think it is important for a person to feel beautiful and confident, I also wonder why beauty is so damn important.
I know beauty, evolutionarily speaking, signifies healthy genes and a good mate. But, if we go beyond that and look at this, not through a biological and evolutionary lens, but a cultural one, it’s hard to ignore how important beauty, attractiveness and aesthetics matter. Even cross-culturally, while the beauty standards change depending on location, beauty is still held in high regard.
So I guess what I’m wondering is why can’t ugliness be embraced? Why can’t we love unattractiveness instead of saying our flaws are beautiful too? I believe wholeheartedly that a person can be aware of their unattractive physical attributes and be fully confident in themselves anyway. Clearly, this can’t just happen overnight or naturally; it takes time. Beauty is so important in our society-- there is constant pressure to look our best 24/7.
An example that I think fits somewhat to what I’m saying is that I have a crooked nose. Crooked noses are generally not seen as attractive or beautiful. I’m not going to look in the mirror and say, “damn, my nose looks great!” No, I’m fully aware it’s ugly and I’m okay with that. At this point in my life, I don’t really care if I’m beautiful or ugly. Beauty standards are constantly changing and are dependent on expectations within a culture and range from person to person.
Here is another, better example that I’m sure most of you lovely readers will be familiar with: Do you remember that SpongeBob episode where SpongeBob believes himself to be ugly? Even though he clearly struggles with it and isn’t actually as ugly as he was thinking (because it was *spoiler* actually just nasty, bad breath) and is superbly happy when he finds out it’s only his vile breath, the classic scene with him and Patrick on his roof chanting “I’m ugly and I’m proud!” is actually an important message.
I’m thinking we need to start embracing our ugliness and be proud of all the unwanted physical attributes we have that makes us unique. If you really don’t like something about yourself, whether it’s your weight, acne, crooked nose or bad teeth, you can try to change it. However, it’s important to remind yourself that those characteristics are only seen as ugly by the context within which you are existing. Beauty isn’t everything and I think it would be helpful for many people if we start being proud of our ugliness instead of trying to convince ourselves it’s beautiful. There isn’t anything wrong with being ugly. Be proud and, if you aren’t, work toward a goal you can be proud of. In the end, the only thing that matters is how you see yourself and how to get to a point where you can love how you look.
