“We teach girls to shrink themselves
To make themselves smaller
We say to girls
‘You can have ambition
But not too much
You should aim to be successful
But not too successful
Otherwise you will threaten the man’
Because I am female
I am expected to aspire to marriage
I am expected to make my life choices
Always keeping in mind that
Marriage is the most important
Now marriage can be a source of
Joy and love and mutual support
But why do we teach girls to aspire to marriage
And we don't teach boys the same?
We raise girls to see each other as competitors
Not for jobs or for accomplishments
Which I think can be a good thing
But for the attention of men
We teach girls that they cannot be sexual beings
In the way that boys are
Feminist: the person who believes in the social
Political, and economic equality of the sexes”
– Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie, "We Should All Be Feminists" TEDx Talk
Why are we not all feminists?
I have met a small percentage of people who openly identify as feminists. However, I meet many others who fit the definition of a feminist – a person who believes in the social, political, and economic equality of the sexes – but blatantly refuse to accept the label.
Why?
The concept of a feminist is often confused with what many call “Feminazis.” As it tends to be with most things in life, there are people who misinterpret concepts and take them to unnecessary extremes. There are religious, ideological, and health extremists. There are educational extremists, there are political extremists, and there are even caffeine extremists.
When a man tells me he is health-conscious, I don’t automatically jump to the conclusion that he is a raw vegan, GMO-free, MSG-free, kale-munching, 50-banana-diet Whole Foods addict. When my neighbor says he is a Republican, I don’t assume that he sits outside his house holding a “Make America Great Again” sign every day from the hours of 8am to 10pm, waving it in the faces of passersby and screaming "Never Hillary!" at the top of his lungs. When my teacher says she likes coffee, I don’t figure that she drinks twenty venti Americanos a day, chugging them one after another, using them as her only means of sustenance.
Yet, when we bring up the term “feminist,” the image that is conjured in our minds is one of a man-hating, violent, deodorant-less, anti-shaving, crazy woman, whose life mission is to destroy the entire male race.
Furthermore, what is even more disgusting is that this stereotype is perpetuated by one of the world's most popular websites. Wikipedia’s definition of a Feminazi goes as following:
“Feminazi is a term used pejoratively to describe either feminists who are perceived as extreme or radical women who are perceived as seeking superiority over men, rather than equality, or to describe all feminists.”
I agree with the majority of this definition, except for those shockingly untrue last words,
“Or todescribe all feminists.”
Imagine, for a moment, if we were to do this to all definitions.
Alcoholic: a person suffering from alcoholism, or to describe all people who consume, or enjoy consuming, alcohol.
Terrorist: a person who uses terrorism in the pursuit of political aims, or to describe all religious people.
Racist: a person who believes that a particular race is superior to another, or to describe people of all races.
Fundamentally, we cannot use extremes as definitions. Extremes are exceptions, not representations. Imagine if you were to be called a terrorist for going to church, to be called a racist because you identify with a certain race, to be called an alcoholic because you like drinking Chardonnay at cocktail parties.
There are radical people who live in extremes regarding all aspects of life, and if you’re looking for proof, open up a Guinness Book of World Records. There are people who don’t cut their nails for twenty years, who shower once a week, who practice ripping phonebooks in their free time. We so rarely use exceptions to define the moderate, except in this particular circumstance. Somehow, feminism is automatically equated with Feminazism.
If you are still struggling with whether or not you are a feminist, you can answer it yourself with this simple question, using the Merriam-Webster definition of feminism:
Do you believe in the social, political, and economic equality of the sexes?
If you answered no, then congratulations! By definition, you believe in the dominance of one sex over the other.
If you answered yes, then congratulations! By definition, you believe in a world where the sexes should be treated equally.
If you answered “Yes, I believe in the social, political, and economic equality of the sexes, but I’m not a feminist,” your answer is completely invalid! That would be the equivalent of asking someone, “Hey, do you not eat meat or other animal products?” and them answering, “Nope! But I’m not a vegetarian, though.”
People are terrified of labels out of fear that they will be seen as a Feminazi, which is why I will emphasize the word equal over and over again. No, feminists do not believe in the dominance of the female race over the male race. Feminazis have misinterpreted, twisted, and warped the idea of feminism into something ugly and hateful. Feminism itself is the concept of equality.
Women are automatically assumed to be exceedingly emotional, sexual, weak, violent, controlling, and downright crazy, which makes it “okay” for us to equate feminism with Feminazism.
It is not okay.
It is not okay that we live in a world where women still make 78 cents to a man’s dollar, where women comprise a startlingly low 4% of Forbes Top 500 CEOs. We live in a world that desperately needs feminism, a world that allows women to aspire to be more than brides or sexual objects. We need to live in a world where women worldwide have access to education, where "dowry deaths" no longer exist, where women are not catcalled and harassed and raped, where women are not referred to with demeaning terms like “sweetie” in the workplace, where women’s ideas are not disregarded because "their emotions have clouded their clarity," where women are no longer victim-blamed and slut-shamed.
Women deserve to live in a world where female athletes are paid the same as male athletes, where women are free to wear what they want in the streets, where women can pursue STEM and business careers. Women deserve to live in a world where they are treated with the same respect as men. Women deserve to be seen as beautiful, as powerful, as intellectual, as strong, and most importantly, as equal.
We deserve to live in a world where we are all feminists.
