There is a stigma in society around singleness. We are conditioned to bemoan our lives when we, ourselves, are single and we are taught to feel pity for others when they are “suffering” from this same plight. This is funny to me, because even though everyone has their lonely moments, singleness is so fulfilling. I’ve had a lot of practice in being alone, so here are a few reasons why you should celebrate your singleness instead of bemoaning your lack of a relationship, from someone who has done a lot of thinking on the subject.

When you are single you have time to find out who you genuinely are as a person. I have seen so many people hop from relationship to relationship, almost as if they’re using romantic involvement as a mechanism to hide from themselves. Don’t get me wrong, you absolutely get to know yourself in a different way when you’re involved with someone romantically, but it isn’t the same as spending quality time getting to know your true soul. It’s fulfilling when you can confidently say, “I know who I am and I’m proud of that.”

When you’re single you don’t answer to anyone. You are your own master. If you want to order take out in the middle of the night you don’t have to ask anyone. If you want to impulsively buy half of H&M you don’t have anyone telling you not to. If you want to drop everything and go on a random road trip to visit your best friend you don’t have any explaining to do. You are a free spirit, not tied down to anyone or anything. This is such an awesome feeling! Why do people forget about this?

When you’re single you are your number one priority. This is special. You get to take care of yourself and be there for yourself. Healthy relationships are built on people practicing simultaneous selflessness, always putting their partner first. So, when you’re single, it is your time to experience what it is like for you to be your only priority. Cherish that and live in that. Get to know yourself. Treat yourself with respect. You can’t expect to be in a healthy relationship where you are loved and respected if you don’t view yourself in those ways.

When you’re single your friends and family are the most important people in your life, next to yourself. Invest your time and energy in them. Grow your relationships with them while you have the time to, so that when you are in a relationship you don’t have to worry about the other important people in your life falling away, because you have poured into their lives previously. ((Disclaimer: This doesn’t mean that when you’re in a relationship you aren’t obligated to make effort to spend time with friends and family, because you are. Every relationship in your life is a give and take. I’m just saying that they will be a lot less likely to disappear from your life then if you focus time and energy on them now. If you do this, later, when you have to split your time between friends, family, and a significant other, they will understand.))

Basically what I’m trying to say is, being single is totally cool. This is not me getting all anti-relationship, I’m just trying to break down the societal wall that puts those who are single into a box of gloom and despair. Live your life to the fullest! Get to know your true self. Enjoy the freedom of living single now so that you can enjoy the partnership of a romantic relationship later.

Xo,