I have been a big girl all my life who within the past year went on a life changing journey and lost 57 pounds. For my whole life, I have always wished that I could be a size zero, I was always jealous of the skinny girls who could wear whatever they wanted and never had to worry about looking fat. The sadness from not being skinny lead me to eat more and gain even more weight. It was a vicious cycle that I was stuck in for the past 23 years. I have always told myself that maybe one day I would finally be a size zero and it would make me so happy. I was wrong. Being a size zero is NOT important. It is not the be all and end all of life. It is not something that I want for myself any longer. I have struggled so much with my weight and I have had so many ups and downs in my life and my weight has always been one of them. I hate how much it has controlled my life. Losing all this weight, I have gained so much perspective on my life and how I view the world. Before losing all the weight, I fit into a size 14 pants and mostly XL t-shirts. Over the course of this journey my pants size has dropped 2 to 4 sizes depending on the make and the store that the pants are sold in. The first time that I went to a store and picked up a size 12 pants, I was so unsure about it. I wished and hoped that maybe they would fit me but I didn’t expect them to. I still see myself as being fat and it is something that is so hard to shake. When they fit, I cried I was in disbelief, it didn’t even feel real. I realized right then and there that it didn’t matter that I wasn’t a size zero because after being a size 14 my whole life, I was perfectly okay with dropping two pant sizes. The next moment came when I went to go shopping for jeans, something that I have always dreaded. I am short, so the length of jeans is always a problem for me, and I was again worried about what was going to fit. I went for a size 10 this time, really not expecting much from them and certainly not expecting to leave the store with them. I figured I would give it a shot and then figure it out later. I tried on the pants and THEY FIT. I was again in shock and in disbelief and again I cried. I could not believe that I actually fit into size 10 jeans. It seemed unreal. I bought two pairs that day and I left the store feeling so good about myself. I used to hate going shopping for clothes but now I love it because it is such a fun adventure and something that is always fun for me. Being a size zero is incredibly overrated. It is not something that I wish for myself anymore. I am perfectly happy with the size that I am and that is all that matters.