The best part of a friendship is when you don’t have to pretend to be sane anymore. Whenever we meet someone we like we usually try to disguise how unbelievably out of our damn minds we are for at least a few weeks. After all, there’s no need to scare them away with your impression of a pterodactyl right off the bat. You can unveil that once they are already in too deep and can’t run for the hills.
I’ll be the first to admit that I’m pretty odd. And not just in a cute, quirky, way, like a daydreaming fairy-person who wears flowers in their hair and frolics in fields. I’m weird in the way where I’ll google conspiracy theories at 2 in the morning and then for a month straight I will talk the ear off of anyone who will listen about how the Titanic’s sinking was totally planned so the owners could collect insurance money. In elementary school my best friend and I would put fuzzy blankets over my couch cushions, pretend they were horses, and legitimately tried to “ride” them around the basement. I once took a plastic bat to my Barbie Jeep when I decided to film a music video to Carrie Underwood’s Before He Cheats. This is something I blocked out of my memory until now, so I sincerely hope that footage was deleted.
Here is a list of things I do that make me ask myself why I am this way.
1. When I get sad I brush my teeth
2. I can’t blow my nose
3. Sometimes if I’m alone in my townhouse I close the blinds, put headphones in, blast music and jump all over the couch and armchairs dancing around my common room. And by dancing, I mean waving my arms haphazardly in the air and pretending the hip hop class I took last semester actually made me a somewhat acceptable dancer.
4. I used to know every word to each of the FreeCreditReport.com commercial songs. Every word.
5. In order to motivate myself to get up in the mornings I talk to myself via alarm labels
