Why am I still in love with you?

Love is a strong feeling–

A feeling that is so hard to express.

It's one of the many things that make us feel amazing inside.

Love brings out the best of you–

It's what makes you wake up and fall asleep smiling with that person smiling right beside you.

But when that feeling of love is ripped out from inside of you,

You hurt.

You hurt as you have never hurt before.

You are mad,

You are upset,

And you feel like there is nothing left in this world and you are in a place that you will never get out of,

And every candle and wish will never fix that hole that was left.

So–

Why am I still in love with you?

Have you ever felt the pain of telling someone you love them and never hearing it back but you keep saying it because maybe one time they will say it?

Have you ever been attracted to a person that isn't good for you?

And every time they do something that proves they are no good you ignore it and when they do something right they win you over again and again.

Or have had to hold back all your feelings towards someone just so they would never leave your life?

Or lay in bed and go over everything that you have done wrong and why you were good enough?

So why the hell am I still in love with you?

Have you ever wanted one more kiss and leave that closer on their lips?

Or that one last text saying "I'm thinking about you".

But you know none of that will ever happen.

I haven't stopped thinking about you let alone stopped loving you.

I'm a mess.

So why am I still so in love with you?

I'm in love with you because of the way staring into your eyes make me focus on one thing and relaxes me.

I'm in love with you because of that smile of yours that could make anybody smile on the worst of days.

I'm in love with you because of how safe I feel when I'm around you.

I'm in love with you because of the butterflies I still get in my stomach when I see you.

I'm in love with you because of the smell of your perfume I haven't stopped smelling the pillow next to me.

I'm in love with you because you came into my life when I thought I was never going to love again.

I'm still in love with you because it's you I'm always going to love.

I love you,

But I don't want to love you anymore.