I am adopted. I am loved.
Recently, I have been dealing with the repercussions of my adoption. While stressful, I am working to find the light of the situation. This article is dedicated to those who can rightfully say, "I am adopted." I believe it is time to fight the stigma and understand the different types of adoption, the legalities behind adoption, and why the phrase "blood is thicker than water" is my least favorite saying.
On July 10th, 1996, I was taken home from the hospital in the arms of my Mama. I laugh because the picture of her first holding me captures her perfectly done hair and ironed blue dress. Most baby pictures include red faces, hair a mess with a wrinkled hospital gown. And while child birth is beautiful, the love my mom had for me the day she took me home is equally as heartfelt.
Two years later, came my legal adoption day. March 6, 1998 the papers were signed to grant my parents full and legal guardianship. Why did it take so long? In the state of California, it is their goal to keep families together. That being said, my parents legally had to wait one year to adopt me. In that year, any birth related family had the right to take me for their own. While keeping families together seems ideal, sometimes it is the lesser choice. For instance, I know of a family who took in a child from the Foster Care system in hopes of adopting her. A year later, the child's father was released from prison, and he was able to take her back. This is the part of the system that upsets me.
This is where the system says "blood is thicker than water". That shouldn't be the case. Family is who treats you like family. Adoption is a beautiful thing. Giving up a child for adoption is a selfless act. It requires a lot of strength, and the ability to put the best interests of your child's life before your own. It is giving up your connection in order for that child to grow in the most beneficial environment. While a huge sacrifice, I believe its important to place children in the healthiest environment. They are emotionally vulnerable and need stability and love.
"Family is who treats you like family" is where I am able to address certain stigmas that come with adoption and the questions I am asked. Questions I have been asked on multiple occasions are "Well do you know your real mom?" and "Do you like your adopted parents?" When I was adopted, the two people who did the adoption became my real parents. Do I want to know my real Mom? I already do. She goes by Mrs. Morton. And do I like my adopted parents? Yeah I do, because they raised me. But they don't go by Adopted Parents. They go by Mom and Dad.
Blood is not thicker than water. Someone who is a family member, in my eyes, is an individual who made a strong connection with you in your heart, not your DNA. Family is who loves and supports you day in and day out. I have family members I don't see as family because they don't treat me as such. I also have friends who I see as family because they do treat me as such. Family includes individuals who are your biggest supporters, who love you with everything they have.
I am adopted. When people hear that, they say things like "I'm sorry", or look at me like its a sad occurrence. But adoption is beautiful, it is far from sad. It is bringing people together who were meant to be a family.
I am adopted. Your response should now be, "you are loved." Hell yes I am!
To anyone who needs someone to talk to, or who has questions about adoption, I am always available.
