I get it all the time: “you are too nice and that’s why you always get hurt.” I never understood anyone when they said that to me. I always tried my best to put everyone else before myself, no matter what the situation was. Whether it was my friends, family, significant others, it didn’t matter, I truly was the happiest when everyone else that I cared about was happy. I put too much effort into people who were never going to return the favor. Apparently, friendship wasn't as important to people as it was to me, hence why I lost friends left and right through high school. I spent almost all four years of high school wondering why I wasn't good enough for anyone I came in contact with.
With some great advice from my loving mother I finally realized: I am too nice and everyone saw me as a doormat because of it. I was incapable of saying no and that’s why I got hurt, that's why people took advantage of me and that’s why friends used me for their convenience.
I am still struggling with being “too nice” but I have come to realize that it is just who I am. I have been through a lot and I wouldn’t want anyone to ever feel the way I did. I have come to terms with my weaknesses and I have realized that not everyone is going to appreciate what you do for them and not everyone is going to stay no matter how much you are there for them. It’s life. Accepting that fact has been the best thing for me.
So the next time someone tells me that I am “too nice” I am just going to say "I know," hoping that someday, somewhere along the line, someone will be thankful for me and mean it. I didn’t realize how hard it was to truly want the best for everyone that walked into my life.
So if you want to tell me that I am “too nice,” I’ll agree with you. If you want to tell me that people take advantage of my niceness, I will agree with you. I will also agree with you when you tell me that I need to stop putting everyone else before my happiness.
I'll be honest, it sucks being the one everyone takes advantage of and it sucks to not feel good enough but you are enough and always will be. I don’t regret doing the things I have done for people and I probably never will. I have come to terms with myself and who I am and why I do the things I do. I have learned to not only understand my intentions but everyone else’s as well. Not everyone has the same intentions as you and that will get you hurt. I enjoy making other people happy and that from time to time will get me hurt but I can’t help it. I can’t bring myself to only care about me. I know what it is like to have no one there for you when you need them the most and I just don’t want anyone to feel like that. That is why I continue to do everything for everyone else, because my happiness comes last and always has.
