It has become a social normative to place a high value on numbers. We value the amount of likes, favorites, and shares on a post, picture, tweet, etc. We value the quantity of friends or followers we have on any given social media. We value the three-digit number on the bathroom scale, the scores of a standardized test, and the number of calories in a small square inch of Hershey’s chocolate. The most important number we nearlyobsess about though? Age. Now as a 21-year old, I frequently hear the common expression “Age is just a number” from my elders on milestone birthdays. I understand though, it’s an expression used to justify the process of aging and I’m sure I’ll use it one day, too. At what point, however, is age really just a number? At what point do we stop placing value on a number in a society warped by numerical values?

In New York State, you can apply for your learning permit at 16. At the age of 17, you can have a junior’s license that will upgrade at the age of 18. In New York State, the legal age to work is 16 years old. In the United States, 18 is the legal age to vote and enlist in the military. Also, in the United States, the legal age of consent lies between 16 and 18 years of age, depending on the federal law of each state. In the United States, the legal drinking age is 21 years of age and the legal serving age is 18 years old. In Suffolk County of New York, the legal smoking age is 21 years old but in some countries, it is 19 years old. The common minimum age to book a hotel room is 21 years old but the minimum is also 18 years old for exceptional hotels. Most car rental companies require the renter to be at least 25 years old. At 26 years old, you are no longer eligible to be under your parents’ healthcare in the United States. I could keep going on forever about the varying age milestones, but the point I want to make is that these age restrictions have not and are not consistent across time, country, or even the world. These ages are not just a bunch of numbers. These ages represent a set of changing laws that reflect the morale of the current society.

I’m not saying whether or not I agree or disagree with the current age restrictions, but I am saying the value of age is something we all think about differently. Age is the difference between juvenile court and adult court. Age is the difference between calling your own doctor and your mom being able to call for you. Age is even the difference between being able to order off the kid’s menu. We already know aging is inevitable, but we only make the aging process harder on ourselves and others when we stop meeting the age expectations that we’re bombarded with by society’s interrogations of what age we’ll start our careers, what age we’ll wed, and what age we’ll have children. Think about how we pride people on their accomplishments based on being the “youngest” or a “rookie” in sports or academia.

To take it one step further, being 21 for me invites ageists to target adults my age for uncontrollably being part of generation X, Y, Z or being part of the “Millennials.” I use the word “target” because I can’t count how many times I’ve been stereotyped to have my phone attached to my hand or was accusatorially characterized as lazy or unaware because of my age. With a generation title full of negative connotations, how could my age be unimportant? In reference to the prior argument I made about meeting age expectations when interrogated by society, I realize that I am looked upon differently if I have a child at 21 than if I have a child at 23 or 25. I’m also looked upon differently if I have a child at 45 rather than in my 30s, but for a much different reason. Age is another label society gives us, but this one is a bit harder to rip off.

People tend to add the tidbit, “Well when you get to my age at least, age is just a number” after I argue the opposite. The way I see it, I would love to wake up on my 80^th birthday and when I do, I can promise that day will be much different than waking up on my 79^th birthday or my 70^th birthday. The only commonality will be my gratefulness for being able to celebrate another day. I think each age presents its own challenges based on other identity labels, environments, and time periods, and there is something to learn whether it’s from a seven-year-old, a 21-year-old, or an 80-year-old.