I think we all have known at least one person in our lives where their entire life pretty much revolved around their relationships. Every time they got a boyfriend or girlfriend, that was all they would ever talk about and that was the only person they spent pretty much all their time with. For most people, this occurs during what a lot of people call the "honeymoon phase," which is usually at the beginning of a relationship when it's all fresh and new and both of the people involved in it are so excited about it that that's all they think about for the first few months. To be clear, this part of a relationship is absolutely totally normal. We all go through it. It's exciting and energizing when you find out that the person you've crush on for a while actually likes you back or when you realize you actually have a connection with someone you didn't expect! It's one of the beautiful moments of life. But once you get past that part and come back to reality, yet even then still can't seem to function without your partner, then that's when it becomes a problem.

Sure, sometimes things get difficult and your partner is supposed to be part of your support system. We all need that person to lean on. But the thing to remember is that your partner is also an individual. You are both individuals in a team-- which would be your relationship. In order to function well as a team, you also need to be sure you can function well individually. There will be times when you both have different schedules, different goals, and different opportunities. If you and your partner truly love each other, you will be there for each other when you both need it, but you will also give each other space to grow and become who you are supposed to be.

I'm currently in my early 20s and so are the rest of my friends, and this is a time in our lives when we're still trying to figure out who we're supposed to be and where we want to end up later on. Yet, I've already seen friends in relationships where they're giving so much time to each other, that they're not even taking care of themselves. They're relationships that get in the way of college, careers, and the chances to make new connections and meet new people that may be influential or important in your life later on down the road. And I just never understood how they could be so okay with that. I, myself, am also in a relationship, and we are in two different majors on two different paths, but still make time to support and be there for each other at the end of the day and when it's needed most. We are still able to build ourselves as individuals and make our own goals. We make time for each other now and go out like any other couple. But we're not so absorbed with each other that we can't do anything else.

The kind of relationship that gets me concerned in regards to when I see my friends involved in them is the kind where they literally have to spend time with their significant other 24/7 because one of them is so dependent on the other. It's the type of relationship where one person will literally not get anything done and just get emotional and hold it over their partner's head constantly just because the other person isn't around them. It's tough because then it's hard to focus on the things you need to get done when you constantly have to drop everything for that person to support them and be around them all the time.

At that point, when you need that person around you just to function and do your daily tasks in your everyday life-- do you even truly know who you are? Will you even be able to grow and solve your own problems without burdening others? How are you supposed to separate your goals from theirs? Because at that point, when that person depends on you that much then how are you supposed to make your plans without always having to worry and consider how they'll take it if you decide to pick up a job that's an amazing opportunity in a new place or make the time to meet people who will be important assets in your career path? It's so difficult to decide on what you truly want without being able to take into consideration their constant needs and expectations held over your head. When you're that young, you need someone who supports you; not someone who locks you down and keeps you from reaching the potential that you have inside of you.

It's nice to be in relationships. There's nothing wrong with love-- it's a beautiful thing. But when it's the absolute center of your life before you're ready to completely settle down with that person, then it's just holding you back from who you could be. And it's holding your partner back from discovering their own capabilities and finding a sense of happiness and healing on their own without having to use someone else as a crutch at all times. A relationship should not be a distraction or a solution to your problems, but a connection that you have with someone who will support and love you no matter which direction you head in. Yes, you are a partner. But remember, you're also an individual. And a true partner allows you to grow and become the best individual that you can be all while doing the same for themself.