Based on my 42 years of involvement in baseball, I offer the following
"My son is a major league prospect" - I have played and/or coached against literally thousands (most likely tens of thousands) of baseball players. I'll bet only a dozen or so of them ever made the major leagues. So, your son is PROBABLY NOT a major leaguer...and that's okay.
"Well, he's going to be a Division I player, for sure" - I've certainly played with and/or coached against many more Division I baseball players than I have major league baseball players, the number of D1 players I've seen is still ridiculously small. Understand this: as a head coach, my teams won 67% of its games...an extremely high percentage...and I actually coached 11 kids who played Division I. I coached against a lot more, but still...your son is PROBABLY NOT a D1 baseball player.
"Okay then, he's definitely a college player" - Nationwide, the number of high school senior baseball players who get a college baseball scholarship in any given year is around 6%. Six out of 100...and you're sure he's a college player? It's great that you believe, but he's PROBABLY NOT.
"But, my kid is different" - If I had a dollar for every time a parent has told me that, I would be a rich man. Look, all of us believe our kid is different. He's a prodigy...a next level talent. I was at a travel team tryout a few weeks ago and a dad told a coach, "You're really going to like my son. He hit .800 this summer." Eight hundred??!! Was there even a defense on the field? Was every ball put in play considered a hit? Anyway, we watched...and no, he wasn't an .800 hitter. Seriously, parents. Stop that. Is your kid really different? PROBABLY NOT.
"He'd better get a scholarship because I'm paying all this money for lessons, travel and equipment now" - Folks, the average baseball scholarship is 43%. A full ride in baseball is exceptionally rare. The average tuition for a private college is $32k and that doesn't include room and board. The average cost of a public school with in-state tuition is $9200 and that doesn't include room and board. So, double those amounts if you want a true picture. So, if your son wants to go to an average private college, and he gets an average baseball scholarship, you're still on the hook for about $30k PER YEAR. Are you okay with that number?? So, if you want your son to get a full-ride to college, send him to the library to study because academic scholarships outnumber athletic scholarships about 100:1. So, is your son getting a full-ride baseball scholarship? PROBABLY NOT.
"If he isn't playing year round, he's going to fall behind" - I don't understand this level of thinking at all. There is such a thing as diminishing returns. Yes, there are kids who love baseball and want to play only baseball year round. I get that. I was one of those kids. But, my point here is that other sports offer the child so much and will help them become more well-rounded. For example, I think that football makes a kid tougher. I didn't play football in high school, and I've always regretted it because I think I was too soft in high school. I didn't learn to be a man until college, in my opinion. Football would have pushed me to be tougher. I played basketball for two years, but not my junior and senior years. However, it certainly helped me get in better shape for baseball. Too often, I've heard kids say that they are going to "focus on baseball" and they do anything but that. They sit around and don't compete. College coaches want to see kids competing year round...and, in this area, baseball isn't played year round anyway. So, is your kid going to fall behind without you pushing him to play year round? PROBABLY NOT.
"College coaches and pro scouts care about my kid's stats" - No, no they don't. They care about your kid's grades, work ethic, attitude, if he's a good teammate, if he's coachable, and his size, speed and arm. Most of those things I just listed are a direct result of your parenting. His stats are not. Focus on the things that really matter. His won/loss record for his 14 year old team doesn't matter at all. Occasionally, a coach will ask about stats, but do they really matter to the college coach? PROBABLY NOT.
I've said all of that to say this: Too many of you are focusing on the wrong thing. Make the main thing the main thing. What is the main thing? YOUR SON IS THE MAIN THING. Your relationship with him is the main thing. Baseball, like everything, can be used as a positive or a negative in your relationship with your son. It's helped bind my son and me together tighter than most father/son relationships. We won a state championship together, and that'll always be my favorite baseball memory that involves my own self. But, I've seen parental expectations tear a relationship apart and leave a kid hating the game. I read a study once where college athletes were asked their worst sports memories and the number one answer was "the ride home from the game". Egad...none of us wants to be a part of our child's worst memory of anything, right? RIGHT? Similarly, the same people were asked the favorite thing they were ever told after a game and the number one answer was "I love to watch you play". That's perfect. It doesn't focus on results, only the process. Make that a part of your routine when discussing baseball, or any other sport...or ANYTHING your child does. Tell them how much you love watching them perform and just see what that does to them. Don't talk about the game on the way home from the game UNLESS THEY BRING IT TO YOU. I promise, it'll all be okay in the end. It really is just a game. It's not your life. It's not even your game. It's his. Let him own it. Release your child to the game. Find out his goal. If it's different than yours for him, then his takes precedence. Give up your goal. It's not about you. It's about him.
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