I've gotten asked out twice in the USC village, and both times I have looked repulsive, have had a nasty breakout, have not felt my best, and have clearly been working. Oh, and, no offense, but both of the guys were definitely not my type. Even me writing that sounds nasty because 1.) though I believe in types, I believe you should be open to anyone (as long as they're not a creep, you feel?), and 2.) in relation to one, I would never want to deny an opportunity based on something superficial, such as purely looks. That being said, I also don't believe in forcing something you just are not comfortable with or interested in, for whatever reason – whether that be based on physical attraction, how the person came off, whatever. I don't think anyone should justify their choices because people should do what is right for them.

While I don't think I sufficiently or eloquently explained this concept very clearly, I hope my point is understandable, even if you may have a different opinion on these things. I don't know what anyone else would have done, but both times I panicked a bit. I never want to hurt anyone or be rude, and so both times I did lie. The first time was much worse. I don't feel that terrible because this first dude was a bit of a creep, but I told him I didn't have a phone number to give him because my phone plan was switching. He then asked for my Instagram username, and I though, "why the hell not, another follower, he gets the picture." Unfortunately he ended up messaging me there, and I ended up having to block him. This second guy was actually sweet and just explained he was sitting around where I was before and saw me and though I was cute and thought it would be a shame to not try to talk to me at least once, but when he asked me for coffee, I just knew I didn't want to, and so I lied and said I have a boyfriend. False – proof found in my first article.

Recently I've been thinking about writing an article about feeling like the ugly duckling, even when people tell you you're not. This article came about because, though supposedly flattering, it can be disheartening and disappointing and worrisome when you feel as though you're constantly drawing the kinds of attention you don't want. This is not supposed to be a judgment on other people but rather a reflection on why I feel disappointed in the people who do ask me out as opposed to those I may want to. I know I'm picky with men, but I don't think that's a bad thing – and, again, I don't think anyone should ever do something they don't want to do or feel comfortable doing.

I suppose situations like this, though, make me wonder why those types of guys come to me and other ones don't. And don't tell me maybe I'm looking for the "wrong" type of guy because you like and are attracted to the people you like and are attracted to. That's that. But sometimes I can't help but wonder if and why the people I like and am attracted to don't feel the same for me?