Your example and support of me this summer has impacted me in ways you will never know, and I will never be able to repay you.You exemplify integrity and good character when no one is watching, and more importantly, when you have nothing to gain. In case the terms are unclear, I've defined the meaning of character and reputation below.
Character is defined as the mental and moral qualities distinctive to an individual. Reputation refers to the beliefs or opinions that are generally held about someone or something.
As a society, we judge people on what we observe them doing or saying. This, I believe, causes people to care more about reputation than character, and this leads to inconsistent behaviors.
“The true test of a man’s character is what he does when no one is watching.”
-John Wooden
I remember when the quote above became true for me. It was my sophomore year in college and I was the vice president of new club on campus, Phenomenal Women , an organization dedicated to empowering ladies in all areas of their lives.
In this leadership role, I was in a position such that many young women trusted me with their traumatic secrets, faults, struggles, and dreams. Also at this time, I was surrounded by countless negative people who gossiped, judged, and bullied others.
I remember deciding that year what type of woman I would be. For me, the choice was one of the following:
1. Become a woman who competes with other women, gossips about them, and treats them with spite.
or
2. Become a woman who admits to her wrongs, who is
genuine, kind, trustworthy, authentic, serves of others, and honestly loves
people.
I decided on the latter and it did not matter that not everyone agreed with who I decided I was going to be. Some people though I was doing too much or trying too hard.
Many though you cannot have a group of women in one place and not have drama. When making a decision or going through a season where your evaluating what you believe a lot of times it test which you value more your character or reputation.
“Be more concerned with your character than your reputation, because your character is what you really are, while your reputation is merely what others think you are.”
-John Wooden
This year has been a true test of values for me. I decided that character was more important to me than what others thought of me. The greatest lesson I learned this year is that no matter how good or bad my reputation is, my character is all that truly matters. However, my decision to choose character over reputation has had negative consequences.
Many people took away opportunities and support from me. Having a good character does not mean you will have a good reputation or visa versa. The difference between the two is that your character is something you will always have control of. For me, there is no greater feeling than being able to look one’s self in the mirror and know you stayed true to yourself and beliefs.
When I look back at my decision to choose character over reputation, it will be one I will never regret. In this very moment I have laid the foundation that will shape and determine every future decision and judgement call.
