To the person that use to be me...
You encountered so much heartache during that season of your life. I remember when you stood firm in your values and when you suddenly didn't.
I remember when you lost control of the path you had worked so hard to create for yourself. I remember when you hung out with the "right crowd" and when you stopped to hang out with the "wrong crowd." I remember when you wouldn't be caught dead in a bar and when that was the only place you could be found. I remember when you thought the solution to a bad day was with one drink with friends that led to two...three...four...
The clubs, bars, and parties kept you out seven days a week. You thought these things would replace the hurt you had been hiding for so long, but instead hurt you more. I remember you looking at yourself in the mirror and forgetting who you really were.
The only time you were ever at your apartment was to primp for another night out. I remember when you would only return home to take a quick nap before work or class the next morning. I remember when you put yourself in unsafe environments, knowing you shouldn't be there, but wasn't strong enough to go home to your empty apartment. I remember people telling you that you were just going through a "phase." But you knew it was much more than that. I remember you sitting on the bathroom floor crying and questioning how you had gotten to that place. I remember all of the hurt you endured to become me.
So to the me I use to be,
Thank you.
I am not ashamed of you, but proud of you. You were buried and planted so I could bloom and grow. I am filled with pride when I reflect back at you, knowing the things I overcame.
And to the person I want to be... I can proudly say I am becoming.